LETS TALK STORY

Invisible War

2012-01-20T15:53:00.000-08:00

Invisible War

There is an organization that was formed to raise awareness and aid the children of Uganda who are victimized by the recruitment of child soldiers. In many villages children gather together and travel to remote locations where they can hide and escape the rebel militia that capture the Ugandan Youth and force them to be soldiers for their rebel army. Invisible Children has raised awareness, money and developed systems of communication to help aid in the event of a raid. With all that they are doing it still remains a tragic issue in Uganda that many children are being succumb to physical and mental captivity and forced to act out in evil and violent ways.

Here in America we don’t have to worry about rebel soldiers coming to take our children, robbing them of their innocence and childhood by plunging them into war. Yet there is a different threat that is just as horrifying, human trafficking. In Hawaii alone you can see how much of a problem this is. Young girls and boys are taken and subjected to sex trafficking, often drugged and manipulated psychologically to engage in a life of forced prostitution. First Baptist Church San Francisco has been active in the fight against sex trafficking and they have been the target of many death threats and bullying by the people involved in this disgusting industry. FBCSF partners with YWAM and their Justice Matters program in SF to help bring awareness and put an end to this tremendous evil.

My work at the high school is starting to leave me feeling worried for the future generations. There is little respect for others, elders included. Violence seems to be more accepted and more practiced. Morality has taken a dive and the things that our youth do and say continue to leave me shocked. Motivation and aspirations for something better in life, for a productive and supportive role in the community is nearly absent. Then as I look around I realize they are not growing out of it. Young adults remain in this youthful ignorance and violence persists and even grows with age.

There is another force taking hold of our children. Probably the same force that oversees the perpetuation of child soldiers and child sex trafficking. It’s a spiritual force of evil. It’s the Enemy that is out recruiting our youth and drugging them with ideas and emotions that drive them to seek out a certain lifestyle. The Enemy is out to manipulate through the general media, the enemy is out to recruit your child to do the workings that wage war against the moral fortress of our society. In some ways it is loud and obvious and outwardly present for us to look at in disgust. Then there is the evil that is subtle and progressively destructive. Violence, sexual promiscuity, hate, laziness, self-centeredness, irresponsibility, there is an Enemy that wants our children. What will you do to stand up and fight? How will you, as a parent, stand against the Enemy when your child is the target? Absence of authority in their lives is the best fuel for this wild fire.

This has been going on for ages and ages, but my fear is that we are slowly losing the battle. In church we are going through the commandments of the Decalogue from the book of Exodus. The moral commands hold so much value and as we move into the New Testament Jesus reviews those commands and says, “You have heard it said…but I say…” not to abolish, but to take it to another level. Jesus challenges us to moral living, a lifestyle that will move us to fulfill the greatest commandment, love God and the second it like it, love others. Perhaps that is the biggest destructive impact the Enemy is having on the world and our children, a loss of love. Fight for your children and teach them to stand against the Enemy. Even if you might not see it, there’s a war and we are all involved. -jason

Batteries Not Included

2012-01-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

Batteries Not Included

This Christmas Aubrey got a Lite Brite as a gift. We opened it up and unpacked all the little multicolor pegs, which I’m sure we will only have half of by the end of the month, and we set up the board. As I looked over the box I see those dreaded words, “Batteries Not Included”. My explanation to Aubrey was without regard and she insisted we play with it. We sat there for a while putting the pegs in and taking them out, in no particular design or picture, just placing them in various spots. How much cooler would this be if we just had three AA batteries?!

The other day Emily got some batteries from the store and I was installing them into the back panel. In the process a vision of Aubrey and I making a design came into my head and the look on her face when I would turn on the light for the first time. The designs can be really great, but when it is lit up, it is so much more magnificent. The full functioning of its intended purpose is not accomplished without the batteries.

In the beginning of creation man decided he wanted to be in control of his own life and disobeyed God. From that point on, our Creator, our Designer, the one whose image we have been made in the likeness of, became separated from us. The disobedience of man, the sin that was committed, left us without our Creator. From that point on every human being bore the label, “Batteries Not Included”.

When you look out in the world, there are beautiful people, there are loving people, there are smart people and there are talented people, so many wonderful designs of humanity out there. Still we ALL walk around with the label, “Batteries Not Included”. Thankfully the power of the light that was meant to shine through all of us does not require a purchase or even a drive to the store. Reconciliation with our Creator is available to all, and that is the power that provides the light.

God sent His son to walk in the way of all humanity and Jesus did that without falling into sin, as we all eventually do. Fully God and fully man, Jesus Christ came to teach, preach and minister to all, sharing about the kingdom of Heaven, about out reconciliation with God. The book of Romans says, “if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” The life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ was the atonement for that which separates us from God, He plunged into death which binds the sinner and broke free with his perfection. He paved the way back to God so that should we decide to follow Him we might find our way back to. We might find the light that we were meant to shine.

You are beautiful, you are amazing, and you are magnificent. With the light of God, the light that you were meant to shine, the light that is obtain through Jesus Christ, you are complete in the brilliant creation that you were intended to be. Ask Jesus into your life today by confessing him Lord and Savior of your life and let your life shine!

- jason

Didactic Living

2011-10-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

Didactic Living

In the mornings its always interesting to hear the conversations that Aubrey has with her stuffed animals when she wakes up. “Minnie Mouse, das no, no. Time out.” She makes these faces all the time and says these things and I wonder, “Where does she get it from???” I need a mirror.

Principles and Approaches to Bible Teaching is a required class in seminary. Dr Shera Melick taught us the various ways people learn (Auditory, Visual and Kinesthetic) and how we need to reach out to the various styles of learning. It is becoming more apparent to me that children make full use of all three of these learning styles and I am realizing that I need to be very careful of the things I do and say. When I get frustrated I let out a grunt, “UGHH!” The other day Aubrey dropped something and made that same noise. Uh oh, we have a parrot.

On www.m-w.com they define didactic as: “designed or intended to teach”. We often live our lives in a “do as I say, not as I do” manner, especially in parenting. We don’t want our kids to use profanity and yet it slips off our tongues. We want our kids to be healthy yet we lack exercise and eat poorly. We want our kids to love and yet the way we speak and treat others does not convey love. With my brother in laws wedding in the recent past it fast forwarded me to the future and made me concerned about “THAT DAY”. What kind of person will my daughter end up with? What kind of guy will she be attracted to? What kind of gun should I buy so I can be cleaning it when he comes over? That last one was a joke…I’ll borrow my brothers gun. J

The conclusion I came to is that Aubrey and Kamryn will learn a lot about what a man should be like and how a man should treat them based off of the way I treat their mother. This is a frightening thought because I know I have so much to learn in how to treat Emily the best that I can. If I show intimacy, they will learn intimacy. If I express love, they will learn to express love. If I serve my wife, they will learn to serve and be served. If I treat her with respect, they will demand respect be given to them. Of course that is not an exact science, but I believe it is largely true.

Let’s live didactic lives. Let’s live lives that are DESIGNED and INTENDED to teach. It will require a lot of work. It will require a lot of thought. It will be worth it all to know that you have done all that you could do to teach and model healthy living for your children. Not just in love or relationship, but in physical health, in friendship, in the way you treat others, in coping with stress, in your faith and in all areas of life.

Are you a good model of what you want you kids to be like? Fathers, are you being the kind of man that you want your daughter to give her life to? Mothers, are you being the kind of woman that you want your sons to give their lives to? Parents are you being the kind of person that you want your kids to be? Live life didactically! -jason

Emphatic Communion

2011-09-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

Emphatic Communion

A little while ago I was introduced to a new term, phatic communion. Phatic communion (aka. phatic expression or communication) might be something that is comparable to what we refer to as small talk.

Anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski, the person to coin this term, explains:

“Are words in Phatic Communion used primarily to convey meaning, the meaning

which is symbolically theirs? Certainly not! They fulfil a social function and that is

their principal aim, they are neither the result of intellectual reflection, nor do they

necessarily arouse reflection in the listener.”

One common example of this is when we say “How are you?” to someone we see and use it as a greeting rather than a genuine interest in how someone is doing.

Since this recognition of this in the 1920’s it seems that this phenomenon is growing in our society as our interaction or communion with each other has become far more detached due to multiple factors, busyness, skepticism, social trends of individualism, fear of being offensive (political correctness) amongst other things.

An area that this has been affected by this social dynamic is in the churches. Whether it has been like this for ages or it is a new trend, Christianity has taken on the feel of a thematic social club. We often apply phatic expressions such as “I’ll pray for you”, “praise God”, “God bless you” with shallow meaning and surface social interaction. Even in our prayers we end “in Jesus name” and how often are you really considering the implications of what it means to pray in Jesus name?

Many of us are familiar with the teachings of love in 1 Corinthians 13. It starts with, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal”. The Bible speaks often of the necessity for the connection of the words we speak and the heart behind it.

Let us avoid a scripted, predictable life of shallow conversation and meaningless words, let us not be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal, but when we speak, speak from the heart and from a heart of love. While in some situations phatic communion may be socially appropriate, let’s exercise what I like to call, emphatic communion, emphatic in the sense of the heart and intent behind our words, an emphasis on the meaning of our interactions. Take time to dive through shallow conversation. Mean what you say and say what you mean.

-jason

ONLY FOR A MOMENT -revisited

2011-09-11T01:20:00.000-07:00

On the day of the September 11th attacks I sat down and wrote these words. Ten years ago today we witnessed a major tragedy and injustice. It brought people together. Imagine a country united 365 days a year.

Only For A Moment
9 . 11 . 2001

Only for a moment is the miracle of birth.
Only for a moment, but it exceeds any worth.
Only for a moment is baby's first step.
Only for a moment, but those memories are kept.
Only for a moment is each day of our lives.
Only for a moment, but the moment survives.
Only for a moment on that one tragic day.
Only for a moment, but it won't go away.
Only for a moment for the lives of those lost.
Only for a moment, but so great the cost.
Only for a moment we all band as one.
Only for a moment, then the mourning is done.
Only for a moment will we all sing one song.
Only for a moment, but the moment is gone.
Where will we be after all's said and done?
Where will we be when the battle is won?
Back on the streets in our own separate lives.
Back on the streets where the fittest survives.
If just for a moment the world can unite,
If just for a moment we have the same sight.
Then I cannot complain if just for a day.
That only for a moment the world was this way.

Hewsletter 08012011

2011-08-01T18:34:00.001-07:00

It’s hard to believe a whole year has passed since we have moved back to Hawaii to start our ministry. If my records are accurate, I have not posted an update since November 2010.

Family News:

On June 10^th 2011 we welcomed Kamryn Michiko Kay Hokulani Hew into the world. She was very similar in size to Aubrey, but her temperament is a little more fussy than Aubrey. She is doing well and keeping us on our toes. We are very happy about our new addition.

Aubrey just turned two last weekend and we had family and friends over to hang out and celebrate. She is talking A LOT and according to everyone it is “payback” for me being a talkative child. I like to consider it a thirst for knowledge. Her vocabulary is growing, her body is growing and of course, her two year old personality is growing. We just signed Aubrey up for her first swimming lesson. She loves to be in the water.

Overall we are blessed with two great little girls.

We have been blessed to be in a situation where Emily is able to stay home with the girls. She is still actively pursuing her MFT licensure. She is a part of a two mom’s groups, MOPS and a local Mom’s Group. She is starting to get a little restless and is considering when it would be a good time to seek a part time employment.

After a few months of doing the chaplaincy job at the Hawaii State Hospital, I am letting it go. While I loved the ministry there, it was too much of a challenge to do that and the church. A couple of big challenges were having to come in on Sunday evenings after church and also the feeling of pasturing two churches, one being Southern Baptist and the other interfaith. I decided it was not going to work and we had to stick with the church to where we were called.

Ministry News:

Since November we have remain to be a nine member church and we lost two Watchcare members to a need for them to return to their home church. Every Sunday we have Sunday School that is led by Larry Smith. All who attend are so blessed by the experience and are challenged to look critically at the inspired scriptures of the Bible.

This summer we had a summer intern. Ikaika Higa blessed us with his worship leading on the ukulele and preaching every other week.

We continue to meet and cast visions for the future of the church. One of the recent thoughts centers around the theme of healing. It seems fitting to consider Kahalu’u Baptist Chapel a place of healing as the environment surrounding it has that feel. We see the need for healing in a holistic perspective and having all of it centered on what we see as the ultimate healing of the spirit through a reunification with our Creator through Jesus Christ.

We want as a first priority to look into the development of a structure closer to the road. As the property currently is our buildings are not visible from the road side. Most people drive right past our property and never even know we are there. A second reason to build closer to the road is to keep people from having to climb the flight of stairs that lead to the church. There is little parking at the top of the hill and the driveway is not in the best condition. If we have our worship services toward the bottom, we will keep people from having to climb those stairs.

As we think about a structure, I do not imagine a church building. Kahalu’u is a rural area and is a community that prides themselves on avoiding overdevelopment. When I imagine a structure I envision an open-aired pavilion that is inspired by the tradition Hawaiian Hale. With that inspiration I want to look into using modern materials and contemporary design techniques to make it visually pleasing and durable. My hope is that we would be able to offer the space to community members for different events and perhaps we might even be able to offer workshops and other educational venues there. This project will require a lot of work and a lot of resources. We know that if this is where the Lord is directing, it will all come together.

We have been so blessed to have received the support of many that have even been outside of our church membership. So many people from the Convention and other Baptist churches have lent a hand for different projects and support. Financially we had received significant support from Take Terada and Florence Doi, Priscilla Yamada (Washington), Peggy Pierce (Oklahoma), James and Brandy Pierce (Oklahoma), Woodward Baptist Church Adult Sunday School (California), and so many other that have never even been to our site and yet have invest so much here at Kahalu’u. We thank you for all of your support.

Emily and I have been told by many that church planting is a significant and challenging work. One conference told us that you can most likely not expect to see much significance until the third year. Then, being here we see that even more challenges come with this being more of a restart. The community have their perceptions of who were are and we need to allow time and effort to show them that it is a new initiative here at KBC and we have a new vision for the community and to glorify God through discipleship and worship. We see the blessings that the Lord had provided thus far. The people that have come to KBC are some of the most amazing people I have met and I know God has led them here with a purpose. In the midst of struggle we stand firm and have faith that we are where we are supposed to be, as long as He wants us here. We are encouraged by the people that surround us locally and abroad. We will be encouraged by the words of James, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Aloha,

Jason

This Little Light of Mine

2011-07-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

This Little Light of Mine

Many of you are familiar with the song that shares the same title as this journal. This children’s song encourages the believer of Jesus Christ to let their light shine for the world to see. Most likely inspired by the 5^th chapter of the book of Matthew, we discussed in Sunday school class that in the days that these scriptures were written people would place a basket over their lights when they wanted to dim the lights because blowing out the flame would create more challenges to reignite it. So the song says, “hide it under a bushel, NO! I’m gonna let it shine” and again, encourages Christians to not be ashamed of the light that burns within. A friend then shared a story from his brother that reminded me of a stories my mother has shared with me.

During the Second World War, the event that bore the date of infamy as declared by FDR, my mother told me stories of what life was like here in Hawaii. As Japanese they were looked upon with suspicion by the US government. Many things they owned that was of Japanese origin was confiscated. For safety everyone was asked to stay indoors as often as possible and especially in the night. She recalls that they were told to paint their windows black and use very little light. The reason for this of course is to avoid being an obvious target for potential bombings. The light draws the enemy.

So here I come back to this song and verse of encouragement to let your light shine. Some versions of the song say, “I ain’t gonna let Satan blow it out, I’m gonna let it shine”, and with such joy and often overconfidence we sing those words. These words speak a significant reality to the attack of the Enemy for those who let their light shine. The true light of Jesus Christ will draw attention.

In this world of darkness the light of Jesus is needed for many to illuminate the path that leads to life. As a believer you are the wick that holds the flame of Christ that penetrates darkness. Some will hide the flame and others will burn people with it. All who let the true Light of Jesus Christ shine, and sadly I feel there are fewer than we all hope, will draw the attention and possible attack of the enemy. Be on guard my friends. Be bold. Find encouragement in Jesus’ words, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Self Motivated

2011-07-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Self Motivated

Captain Clutch, Derek Jeter, has been battling the critics during recent sub-par performances. This weekend he accomplished a goal that would momentarily give the negative eye of the media a break. This weekend Derek Jeter had his 3,000th hit. To give you some perspective on how significant it was, he is only the 28th player in Major League Baseball history, the league was founded in 1869! Not only did he get his 3,000th hit, Jeter cranked out a home run and one lucky fan, Christian Lopez, caught that ball. (He also went 5 for 5 and drove in the winning run, but you don't want to hear about that.) Surprisingly "lucky" is not the word that many are using to describe this fortunate fan.

When Mr Lopez caught that ball he was escorted to a private room as the ball he was holding was worth an estimated $250,000. The cell phone salesman and recent college graduate with $100,000 in school loans made a controversial decision, he returned the ball to Derek Jeter. He asked for nothing in return and was gifted anyway with some great prizes and a chance to meet the celebrity athlete on this historic day. He simply wanted Jeter to have the prized symbol of his accomplishments. Great right? Happy ending right? That's the most commendable act, isn't it?

As I listened to a radio talk show on ESPN radio I was appalled to hear the comments from one of the hosts. While I can understand the dilemma that one would face in this situation and the uncertainty by many to make such a decision, I am taken back when I heard people actually calling him a fool. One sportscaster said, "I'm sorry but you need to think about yourself first." My heart sunk. This really is where we are headed, a self motivated world. By self motivated I am meaning, motivated by what is good for the self. I remember my father being shocked to hear that at a young age I knew the term, "dog eat dog world". Isn't that what we have become though? Individual. Do whatever it takes. Do what's best for you.

With all that I try to be open-minded and respectful about, I have to say bluntly that I despise this individualistic mentality. The idea of community, the idea of helping a fellow human, the sense that we would praise and reward a person that would make a sacrificial decision. I'm not even saying that keeping the ball or giving it up is the right decision. If he kept the ball, I would understand that too. What makes me sick to my stomach is to hear on national radio and probably countless blogs, that he was an idiot and that he should have considered himself first.

This is why I value the Biblical principles so much. The scriptures are filled with outstanding values that I believe would create harmony and peace should all mankind choose to live by it. In Philippians 2:3,4 Paul urges the believers, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." The world is drifting from these kinds of values and drawing more definite circles around the individual self. This individualism is destructive in so many way, perhaps most commonly in marriage. Divorce has become a normal pathway from marriage and I believe individualism is a huge factor. Genesis tells us that a man and a woman are to become "one flesh", that's not possible when we live so individually.

Would I have returned the ball to Jeter? Good questions, I don't know that I would have even considered that. Perhaps I am also strongly motivated by the self. My urgency here is that we all consider the destructive trends of our individual thinking and motivation. Explore the scriptures of the Bible and see what a Christ-motivated life is like. I see a lifestyle that places others above yourself while understanding personal responsibility. Selfish ambition, self-centered pursuits and individualism will deeply wound our society. I firmly believe that.

Courageous

2011-06-27T23:54:00.001-07:00

Courageous

Last week I was invited to a prescreening of the movie “Courageous”. It was made by the same people who made Fireproof. In short, I would recommend it. Don’t expect a blockbuster and don’t expect Oscar winning acting (although I think it was a step up from Fireproof, sorry Kirk). What this movie delivers is a great message that I think all of society needs to hear and with less of the “cheesiness” that their previous movies contained.

Over the past month the theme of being a man has resurfaced over and over again. In my last post I raised my concern for some of the overcompensated efforts to build up strong men in our society. In this movie five men are on a journey that explores their role as parents, as fathers and specifically as God-fearing fathers. While sitting around the table during a weekend barbecue, one of the main characters turns to his friends and asks for accountability in his parenting. When playfully ridiculed he asks one of the men, “When did you know you were a man?” One man replied, “I guess when I moved out of the house.” Another said, “I suppose when I got my driver’s license.” Then a third man with a smirk on his face said, “When my father told me I was.” After a short story of that moment, the first guy launched into his concern that we are not raising our boys to be men.

When did you know you were a man? Sadly, I still wrestle with that question. Many times I feel like I am still just a boy, waiting to grow up, waiting to be told, “Jason, you’re a man now.” In a conversation at church we looked at how our changed society has taken away some of the non-verbal cues, the rites of passage that told you, “You are a man now.” A friend shared about growing up on a farm and when his older brother left he was given certain responsibilities that said, “Now you are a man.” He also spoke about how in his time when you graduated high school you either went to college or you went into the military. High school graduation is a watered down rite of passage because so many young people remain home once they graduate or are living in an extension of home in college dorms that are funded by mom and dad. Manhood is delayed and occasionally even suppressed.

Then later in the movie one character in the movie takes his daughter out to dinner. He talks to her about dating and how he wants to meet the guys she dates and it’s because he and his wife want the best for her. He says, “I know young men, they all want is to win your heart, but they don’t know how to treasure it.” BANG! Hit by a ton of bricks. Even without ill intention I think that is an issue with so many men, including a flashback to my life. I never had intention to hurt any girl I had dated, but through my ignorance I never knew what it meant to treasure a woman’s heart. I think about the media and mainstream movies, the expanse of most movies cover “the chase”, getting the girl. Not many show what you are supposed to do after that, how to live life treasuring a woman’s heart. Thankfully I found a wonderful woman that is patient with me and willing to walk with me as I learn to treasure her heart. Having two little girls is a crash course in this topic.

There are young men and women out there that need strong parents to step up and abandon passivity. Parents need to get involved, strive for better, and invest themselves in their children’s lives. Like the saying goes, “Any fool can have a baby…” I finish that statement with, “but it takes Courage to be a parent!” Be courageous in your parenting and raise for our world strong and responsible adults.

-jason

Be A Man

2011-06-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a discussion with a few other guys about an article published by Mark Driscoll. Mark Driscoll is the pastor and founder of the Mars Hill Church in the Pacific Northwest. He has sort of an image of a "Man's Pastor". He focuses a lot on specific view points of masculinity and what a "real man" should look like. He makes quotes like, “Jesus and Paul were serious dudes. They had teeth missing. Jesus was a carpenter, Paul was in prison. These guys didn’t eat tofu dogs and bean sprouts. They didn’t play tennis. If there were trucks back in their times, they would have been doing driveway lube jobs on a Saturday afternoon. Same thing with King David. Yeah, he might have played a lyre, but he slaughtered thousands of guys.” Many men that I speak with think well of his style and would find these statements funny or even empowering. The recent article I read was a transcription of a sermon. He refers to guys as idiots, imbeciles, fools and let's the men know, "you're a joke". Many people like this and feel its good, "we need someone who will tell it like it is." Many guys are drawn to him and his style of in-your-face confrontation. Personally, I think he is over compensating for a definite need in our culture. Many of the things he says I can agree with, the way he says it is an issue for me as it sends a different message in tone and presentation. Personally, I think he is cocky and arrogant. I think the reason people like him is because he is the vicarious manifestation of a suppressed nature of man. Would they act the way he does? Often, no. Why? I don't think its a style thing or a personality thing, I think its the suppressive nature of our changed society and culture. Truth is, i don't think Mark Driscoll delivers a healthy or responsible display of masculinity, but it's the best that Christian men have toward that fulfillment.
See I do believe that there is a sense of masculinity that is lost and misguided into other avenues. Violence is apparent as I reflect on the young man that was killed in a fight a week ago. This is one of many violent acts that take place in the city I live in and occur all over the world.
Richard Rohr talks about The Male Journey in one of his devotionals. "At some point in time, a man needs to embark on a risky journey. We tend to take refuge in the static world of ideas and opinions, and we look for meaning in jobs and careers. Often we mistake the roles we play for authentic living." I do believe that in our society the journey for men is a paved road and we wrestle with the need for the risk and the adventure. These paved roads come with challenges and difficulties but they are not our own. Joseph Campbell a well-known mythologist says, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path."
There is a sense of masculinity that is derailed by the developed path that is expected out of a man and the inner compass of every male is to make their own path. With that comes risk and challenges and often failures. Making your own path means getting your hands dirty and doing the hard work. The inability to transcend the paved road and create our own journey leads to anger, frustration and misguided expressions of suppressed passions. People say that Driscoll is allowing men to be their masculine selves, to let them know it's okay. Sadly, Driscoll's focus is on material and physical things. A man must not wear cardigans, a man will fix his house, a man will not listen to the Carpenter's and a man will watch Ultimate Fighting. Seems Mark has found his journey, his own path in the style that he has as a pastor. It's new, it's exciting and Christian men love it, because it touches on their own need to discover their journey. Mark's ignorance is in telling people that their journey needs to look a certain way instead of allowing them to explore their own.
To "be a man" is not defined by your appearance or activities, its embarking on your own path, your life journey. -jason

Wild Flowers

2011-05-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

As Spring draws to a close and summer approaches I engaged myself on a mental hike through Ring Mountain. Set above the town of Tiburon was a favorite spot of mine where you could climb up and at a certain point further down the trail, you could actually see all three bridges in the Bay Area. As I envisioned myself starting off on the trail on a bright sunny day I notice the wild flowers. So beautiful in all their colors as they clothe the hillsides with a majestic tapestry of floral design.

It is something that sticks out to me because there is nothing like it that I have seen in Hawaii. Then someone breaks the news to me. "You know, those are actually weeds." Well, those are the most beautiful weeds I've seen. Then Summer's heat scorches the flowers and they are gone without evidence of ever existing, until the cool of the fading Winter and Spring showers meet.

Doing church planting has reminded me of the wild flowers too. Since getting involved with Kahalu'u Baptist Chapel I have heard the testimony of many church planters and there is often a common theme, numerical growth. Articles I have read brag about the number of churches that are being planted across the country and even all over the world. One pastor a while ago mentioned all the churches they planted and all the more that they planned for in the coming years. It was a lot! I had the nerve to repeat what I heard from one of my counseling professors. "Do you know what the abnormal growth of cells is called?" With a puzzled looked he glanced my way, "Cancer." He kindly excused himself and probably wished he had never started a conversation with me.

As a gentler illustration, let's take the wild flowers. It seems to me that often times people wish to go the wild flower route, scatter the seeds and watch them grow! And they grow for a season, they look beautiful and provide reason to boast, then the season ends and they die or sleep waiting for the next season to come. In contrast I think of all the fruit orchards I would pass while going to my in-laws in central valley. Many trees planted and spaced out strategically. While fruit would bear during certain seasons, the trees remained. The foundation was always evident.

Perhaps this is like the Christian life as well, a urgency for discipleship. How many wild flowers are we scattering out there? Low maintenance and boastful beauty, yet only for a season. How many disciples are we making. While seasons of fruit may come and go, the foundation is evident.

Exponential numbers are not a bad thing, if it is God inspired and I want to believe that all these churches are. I really do. And, like any living thing death becomes us eventually, so too with churches. This illustration has holes, as do all illustrations. Maybe it will just be something to think about. The strength and integrity of the church as opposed to the number. The strength and integrity of the believer as opposed to the number. The gate is narrow after all...

Station Fourteen - Jesus in the Tomb

2011-04-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

Jesus is laid in the tomb-Saturday 4/23/11

Luke 23:50-56 ESV

Now there was a man named Joseph, from the Jewish town of Arimathea. He was a member of the council, a good and righteous man, who had not consented to their decision and action; and he was looking for the kingdom of God. This man went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then he took it down and wrapped it in a linen shroud and laid him in a tomb cut in stone, where no one had ever yet been laid. It was the day of Preparation, and the Sabbath was beginning. The women who had come with him from Galilee followed and saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned and prepared spices and ointments.

What words could comfort a grieving heart? Not even that of the promise of the Lord Himself that he would return in glory. If only they could know that in two days He would be with them again, that He would conquer the bonds of death. Then why would it be so that we look back and remember the events that led up to Jesus’ eternal glory? What is the point of taking ourselves to the place where He lay? Wouldn’t it be much more joyous that we be thankful, move on and embrace the promises of eternity now that death is defeated? May we never forget! We remember these moments to remind ourselves that it is not about us and what we profit, it is in fact about the person in whom we place our faith and our lives, Jesus Christ the Lamb of God.

Out of Focus

2011-04-22T08:52:00.001-07:00

Out of Focus

One day I went to help with some yard work for a friend of a friend. The house sits on Kaneohe Bay and looks straight out to Chinaman's Hat, a small uninhabited island on the East side of Oahu. It was about noon and the East rising sun had made its way toward the West and with a slight overcast the ocean breeze kept us cool. We had spent the hours earlier cutting grass and tackling weeds, so the view was relaxing. The water stood still and almost made you believe you could walk right over it. The outreach of the coastline on both sides embraced you with a warmth and safety. "What an amazing view", I muttered, "I could get used to this!" One of the other guys replied, "If it weren't for those power lines." Like a 3D art puzzle that suddenly came into focus, the power lines popped right in front of my view. I hadn't even noticed those lines until someone pointed it out. If only I exercised that ability to see past the other "unsightly" object in my life and focus on the beauty.

The couple that we were helping has an amazing story. A couple years ago this woman had suffered a major stroke. A once vibrant mother of two boys now found herself isolated to a bed with no ability to move anything but her eyes. The devastation left her in a nursing home and every night she would weep because she could not be in her own home. Her husband sought every resource available and was awarded grant money to get all the supplies she needed to come home. Still, the medical professionals told him he wouldn't be able to do it, over two years later he still does. During the week while he is at work a caregiver comes to care for her, but every other minute, he is with her. He has given up all of the water sports he loved to sit and care for his wife and two boys. With his youngest child having Autism, the challenges are even greater. No one bothered to point it out to him, so he only sees the positive. Cleaning her, going through an entire routine to administer all of her medicines, and I'm talking a book shelf of them. Probably the most impressive and touching thing is their communication. Although she can only move her eyes they have worked out a system that allows her to spell out sentences. This woman still plans dinner for her family. While we were there her husband got a call from their son. "What? I don't know. What's a chunk roast?" He looked at his wife and they did their communication and he said, "Chuck Roast. I don't know what that is either!" We chuckled with them and we helped him direct his son to the chuck roast. She also buys gifts for people. During another visit she was communicating with her husband and he said, "What package?" He looked at us and he said, "She said there is a green package." We were scouring the room and I thought, "Surely your communication arrangement is not working." After he had another "chat" with her, he found it in a box on the dinner table, where she first said it was. It was a green package, a gift for her friend that was visiting.

Someone didn't point out to them that their life was to be tragic. Someone forgot to tell them that their life was over, that they should just give up. Someone forgot to point out that there are power lines blocking their view. No actually, I think the medical professionals did point it out. I think other people along the way pointed them out. Sadly, probably even family and friends pointed it out. Still, they chose to focus on the view, the beautiful scenery of a love story that has been in the making and is not yet complete. They are not ready to end the story yet. Life does not seem easy for them, not one bit. That doesn't stop them from enjoying the beauty that lay beyond the obstacles.

Look past the power lines and enjoy the view. –jason

Station Thirteen - The Death of Jesus

2011-04-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Jesus dies on the cross-Friday 4/22/11

Luke 23:44-46 ESV

It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun’s light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last.

Oh, sorrowful day. Set aside for today the thoughts of what is to come and kneel before the cross where your Lord has laid down His life. Beaten and torn body emptied of blood and life. Here nailed and hung so to ensure ultimate suffering, is your Lord. Can we come to Jesus and follow Him if we do not reflect on the death that has brought us life? Shall we pour all our understanding in the joyful outcome and not mourn the steps that were taken to get there? Grieve faithful Christian, grieve for today for it is only “good” when your eyes are on tomorrow. We will rejoice every other day for our risen Lord, today let’s sit at the cross and mourn the slain Lamb of God. How great the price, I shall never know.

Station Twelve - Mother and Son

2011-04-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus entrusts Mary and John to each other-Thursday 4/21/11

John 19:25-27 ESV

But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!" Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Jesus had spent the years of His life on earth building disciples. Many times he brings up the issue of family, “If you do not hate your own [family].” He questions, “Who are my mother and brothers?” Clearly he lays it out for Mary and John, this is your family, and they departed into one another’s care. When we stand at the foot of the cross in Jesus’ most vulnerable moments and hold tight in our hearts the belief of the Son of God, we enter into a family of God. How have we become so torn apart as a family of believers over menial details that take our focus off of Jesus? Brothers and sisters, behold your family.

Station Eleven - Repentant Thief

2011-04-20T01:18:00.000-07:00

Jesus promises His kingdom to the repentant thief-Wednesday 4/20/11

Luke 23:39-43 ESV

One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” The words of a man of sincere belief in the almighty Savior. Much more than belief, faith that the one who is innocently hung along his side WILL save him. Perhaps also the other thief might be known for his belief, but faith he did not have. “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” Acknowledgement falls short of faith. James tells us, “Even the demons believe and tremble.”

May your belief never be short of faith as they are not one in the same.

Station Ten - Jesus Crucified

2011-04-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

Jesus is crucified-Tuesday 4/19/11

Luke 23:33-38 ESV

And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." And they cast lots to divide his garments. And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, "He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!" The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine and saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!" There was also an inscription over him, "This is the King of the Jews."

Even as Jesus was nailed to the cross He cries out to the Father, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” His compassion is first express to the women now to the ones who have subjected Him to physical torment and imminent death. To the ones that nailed him to the tree it was probably fuel to strip Him even of the tattered rags that remained on him, to ridicule Him and insult him with the offering of a tainted beverage. Such compassion Jesus shows us not only in His selfless actions of redemption, but also in His forgiveness to the ones that have brought Him tremendous pain. Oh, to exercise even the smallest measure of His grace and mercy, what a better man I’d be.

Station Nine - Jesus meets the women

2011-04-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem-Monday 4/18/11

Luke 23:27-31 ESV

And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him. But turning to them Jesus said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming when they will say, 'Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!' Then they will begin to say to the mountains, 'Fall on us,' and to the hills, 'Cover us.' For if they do these things whenthe wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?"

A group of women wept for Jesus and grieved His impending death. They suffered to see their Savior beaten and tortured and humiliated. Jesus replies with a sense of, “there are worse things to come.” Worse things?? Worse than this?? Looking out into the world we live and all that has been going on I wonder if these days are unfolding to the time that Jesus was referring to? Perhaps soon are the days when we call to the mountains to fall upon us. Can you not imagine that there are some parts of the world where people are crying out those words? It is emphasized by the twisted words of irony in a blessing to a barren child who would be ridiculed in that culture.

What stands out is His concern for everyone else in the middle of the great sacrifice. He maintains a sense of control and power over the situation and turns His concern to others. The greatest news is His redemptive death that concerns Himself for our eternity.

Station Eight - Simon of Cyrene

2011-04-17T09:08:00.001-07:00

Jesus is helped by Simon to carry His cross-Sunday 4/17/11

Luke 23:26 ESV

And as they led him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus.

Little is known about this fellow named Simon and people even debate about his state of willingness to help Jesus carry the cross. What we do know is that he DID bear the cross of the tortured Messiah.

In Luke 14 Jesus turns to a large crowd of followers and says that if we are unwilling to carry our own cross we cannot be His disciples.

Often times we think of the idea of being crucified, but for this moment I want to reflect on the carrying of the cross. Imagine the shame of carrying your cross through the crowds of people. Shouts of condemnation, laughs and ridicule as you are seen as a criminal. Then the load to bear is heavy and overwhelming. We see by example, that just because we will have our own crosses, it does not mean we won’t have people along the way to alleviate our burdens. The believer has a heavy burden as the journey leads to a life as Jesus’ disciple. Will you bear your cross for that purpose?

Station Seven - Jesus Takes Up His Cross

2011-04-16T01:29:00.000-07:00

Jesus takes up His cross-Saturday 4/16/11

Luke 23:18-25 ESV

But they all cried out together, "Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas"— a man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city and for murder. Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, "Crucify, crucify him!" A third time he said to them, "Why, what evil has he done? I have found in him no guilt deserving death. I will therefore punish and release him." But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed. So Pilate decided that their demand should be granted. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, for whom they asked, but he delivered Jesus over to their will.

Still the crowd is not satisfied till death is the final result. So passionate and convinced that Jesus must die, that they ask to have released a murderous rebel. The passionate pleas of the leaders are so great that their emotions infect the crowd and Pilate succumbs to their request.

So too we may find ourselves in the place of Pilate. The crowds tell us to abandon our understanding of what is right. The majority screams so loud that persuasion is imminent. Along this journey to the cross Jesus tells us to stand firm in our convictions and what we know is right. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God. We stand in the crowd everyday and the chants and cries of the people subtly suggest, “Crucify!” Be discerning fellow believer. Allow the quiet voice of the Lord speak over the shouts of the critics.

Station Six - Scourged and Crowned

2011-04-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus is scourged and crowned with thorns-Friday 4/15/11

John 19: 1-3 ESV

Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him. And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe. They came up to him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" and struck him with their hands.

Here again we urge the Lord, “where will justice prevail?” “Please, fight these that wrongfully beat you.” Our King, our Lord, given a crown of thorns instead of jewels. Oh, great humility that I might have even an ounce of that. What pain have you endured so I might be in your presence for eternity? What price you have paid for an imperfect life as my own? You have given the ultimate example of devaluing the price of the flesh for what is spiritual, what is eternal. Christians, what is the value of the things of the flesh in your life? Do they outweigh the value of spiritual things? The things that bring the flesh life threaten the life of the spirit. Are you willing to sacrifice the things of the flesh for what is spiritual? Are you doing that right now in your life? What do you hold onto so tightly? Find ultimate value in the things of the Spirit and loosen your grip on the things of the flesh.

Station Five - Jesus is Judged by Pilate

2011-04-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

Jesus is judged by Pilate-Thursday 4/14/11

Luke 23:1-5,13-16 ESV

Then the whole company of them arose and brought him before Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, "We found this manmisleading our nation and forbidding us to give tribute to Caesar, and saying that he himself is Christ, a king." And Pilate asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" And he answered him, "You have said so." Then Pilate said to the chief priests and the crowds, "I find no guilt in this man." But they were urgent, saying, "He stirs up the people, teaching throughout all Judea, from Galilee even to this place." Pilate then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, and said to them, "You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him. Neither did Herod, for he sent him back to us. Look, nothing deserving death has been done by him. I will therefore punish and release him."

The tone of the Jewish condemners change from a religious crime to a political agenda, “He calls himself Christ the king!” Pilate has explored the situation and even referred to Herod for his judgment and both men found no fault in Jesus. As followers of Jesus we find that the justice of the world is not that of God’s justice. Justice of the Lord is far beyond our grasp. Allow yourself to stand in the crowd right now as a follower of Christ. “Fight back! Tell them who you are!” Lord, you can remove yourself from this situation, but for me you did not. Justice is the Lords and we know not.

Station Four - Jesus condemned by the Sanhedrin

2011-04-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

Jesus is condemned by the Sanhedrin-Wednesday 4/13/11

Luke 22:66-71 ESV

When day came, the assembly of the elders of the people gathered together, both chief priests and scribes. And they led him away to their council, and they said, "If you are the Christ, tell us." But he said to them, "If I tell you, you will not believe, and if I ask you, you will not answer. But from now on the Son of Man shall be seated at the right hand of the power of God." So they all said, "Are you the Son of God, then?" And he said to them, "You say that I am." Then they said, "What further testimony do we need? We have heard it ourselves from his own lips."

While Peter drowns in his grief for betraying the one he had once sworn his life to, Jesus is in the temple being interrogated by the high priests. In contrast to the upcoming trial, the Jewish authorities are pressing to try Jesus for a religious crime. They have been anticipating a Messiah and had their own expectations of a glorious king. This humble, common looking man indeed stands before the chief priest and affirms their question. “I am” Outrageous! Surely he is a common rebel as the Messiah will come in glory.

How often we question the identity of Christ in our lives? What are your expectations when you anticipate the Lord to reveal Himself in your life? Will you be willing to seek Jesus in the many ways He may reveal Himself?

Pray today that you will see the Messiah for who He is in each moment. Pray for discernment as Jesus guides you and directs you and speaks to you. Do not disregard Jesus out of ignorance and personal bias. He wants you to know Him and how He will work in your life, if you are willing to see Him.

Station Three - Peter's Denial

2011-04-12T00:45:00.000-07:00

Jesus is denied by Peter-Tuesday 4/12/11

Luke 22:54-62 ESV

Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, "This man also was with him." But he denied it, saying, "Woman, I do not know him." And a little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." But Peter said, "Man, I am not." And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, "Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about." And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the rooster crows today, you willdeny me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly.

In a moment of Peter’s earlier expression of undying commitment to Jesus he was told that a time would come that words of betrayal would fall from his mouth. Now as Jesus brought into the temple for the judgment of the high priests, Peter not once, not twice, but three times refuses to be identified with Jesus. The crow of the rooster and the passing glace of the man he once called Lord reminds Peter of those prophetic words and led him to shameful tears. Stand in Peter’s shoes for a moment. While Christianity ranks high in religious popularity I do not believe a devoted to Christ is the majority view. People flock to the positive and joyful Jesus, but what happens when He is not the icon of favor? Will you identify yourself as a follower of Christ with a self-assured “YES!”?

Station Two - Jesus Betrayed By Judas and Arrested

2011-04-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Jesus is betrayed by Judas and arrested–Monday 4/11/11

Luke 22:47-53 ESV

While he was still speaking, there came a crowd, and the man called Judas, one of the twelve, was leading them. He drew near to Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus said to him, "Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?" And when those who were around him saw what would follow, they said, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. But Jesus said, "No more of this!" And he touched his ear and healed him. Then Jesus said to the chief priests and officers of the temple and elders, who had come out against him, "Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs? When I was with you day after day in the temple, you did not lay hands on me. But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."

In the disguise of the night the ones that longed to lead Jesus to his death had finally found a way. Through the betrayal of one of Jesus’ own they identified Him and arrested Him. Judas, with the façade of affection, allowed his Lord to be giving into the hands of murderers and for the price of a few coins. How much is your discipleship to Jesus worth? One thousand? One million? The love of man? All the world’s indulgences? May you today understand what it is to walk in the light of the Lord and when you fall to your knees and pray, when you sing praises to God, sing and pray with what is in the deepest part of your hearts. Jesus paid an incomparable price for our lives. Find the place in your life for God above all things so you may never fall into the temptation to betray the Lord for the value of the things of this world.

Station One - Jesus in the Garden

2011-04-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane Sunday - 4/10/11

Luke 22:39-46 ESV

And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation." And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, and he said to them, "Why are you sleeping? Rise andpray that you may not enter into temptation."

Jesus knew what was coming and still remained obedient to the Father’s will finding strength in prayer. He also commands the disciples to get up and pray that they might not fall into temptation. Let us go forth today and pray as Jesus has not only commanded us, but as He has shown us. Jesus knew the outcome and prayed. So too may our prayers not focus on the outcomes of our petitions, instead on the act of communion with God. Prayer draws us to the spiritual place where the flesh is overcome. Place yourself in the garden on that faithful night. What is Jesus feeling? What are you feeling when you see Him there? Will you pray alongside Jesus or slumber? Seek the kind of passion for prayer that Jesus has shown us.

Saint Patrick's Day

2011-03-07T16:33:00.001-08:00

Saint Patrick's Day

Last week Emily and I attended the funeral of an undeclared saint, undeclared maybe by the Catholic Church, but recognized by those that knew him. Patrick Smith was the cousin of my mother-in-law and we were so excited to learn that when we would be moving back to Hawaii we would be living just a mile away.

In my understanding of how saints are recognized they need to have displayed two miracles. As miracle is defined in my mind, he has exhibited two. First, when he was in college he was in a terrible motorcycle accident that left him with one immobile arm. Despite his physical handicap Pat still went on to own a very successful flooring business. Tales are told of Pat grabbing a roll of carpet with one hand and slinging it over his shoulder. Carrying one side of a roll of carpet with two hands is a struggle for me. Pat also accomplished to be a great father to two fine men.

Miracle two happened just a couple of years ago when he was in Utah visiting his son. In bad weather Pat got out of the car on the side of the road to attend to a need and an SUV veered off the road and sent Pat flying 50 feet after almost severing his body completely in half. After what seemed to be a short recovery time for such a serious injury Pat was back attending to his business and life as usual.

The other classification I recall for sainthood is "heroic virtue". It's not clear to me how the Catholic Church defines that, but it was obvious to me in the short time I had known him. Pat was one of the most loving, generous, selfless men I have met. He showed a genuine care and respect for his fellow man. His heroic virtue is reflected in the stories of those that knew him best. He was as big as life in stature and had a tenderness that was even greater. That showed the most when he spoke of his grandson that was born only two weeks before his untimely death. He was a hero in my eyes.

Pat was found at his work place sitting unresponsive at his desk. It was suspected a heart attack may have claimed his life. So untimely, extremely tragic and a huge loss for those that knew Pat. Pat showed the world how to live life regardless of what comes your way. Such an amazing life and it just takes one thing to take it all away. How valuable and great is life?

In church we are going over Romans 5:12-22 and Paul is talking about sin. As I understand from Paul's writing, sin is your separation from God, your spiritual death. Sin was brought upon humanity through the transgression of the first of creation. We inherit it, like some may inherit heart disease or cancer. Doesn't seem far right? Well if you think with an individualistic mindset it is. Regardless of the fairness of sin, the result is death. In verse 17 the Bible says, "For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ." How much greater is life and life eternal?

Saint Patrick Smith, you will be missed. I wish I had time to know you more. I know there is so much I would have learned from you. Thank you for the lesson of life and living it to the fullest. Death befalls us all and sometimes in an instant. How much greater is life? Pat, may your eternal life through Jesus Christ be continued on in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Saint Patrick's Day is now a memorial for two. -jason

Saint Patrick's Day

2011-03-07T13:56:00.001-08:00

Saint Patrick’s Day

The other classification I recall for sainthood is “heroic virtue”. It’s not clear to me how the Catholic Church defines that, but it was obvious to me in the short time I had known him. Pat was one of the most loving, generous, selfless men I have met. He showed a genuine care and respect for his fellow man. His heroic virtue is reflected in the stories of those that knew him best. He was as big as life in stature and had a tenderness that was even greater. That showed the most when he spoke of his grandson that was born only two weeks before his untimely death. He was a hero in my eyes.

In church we are going over Romans 5:12-22 and Paul is talking about sin. As I understand from Paul’s writing, sin is your separation from God, your spiritual death. Sin was brought upon humanity through the transgression of the first of creation. We inherit it, like some may inherit heart disease or cancer. Doesn’t seem far right? Well if you think with an individualistic mindset it is. Regardless of the fairness of sin, the result is death. In verse 17 the Bible says, “For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” How much greater is life and life eternal?

Back Where I Started

2011-03-01T15:46:00.000-08:00

This morning I left good and early for my doctor's appointment so I could have time to go over my presentation to the Rotary Club. I left the house and it was still dark with just a little bit of the morning sun peaking over the horizon. I stopped off at 7-11 for my coffee and was on my way. The positive aspect of the H-3 is my ability to shoot through the Ko'olau mountains in 10 - 15 minutes and be on the otherside of the island. As I merged off of the H-3 and onto the road that would take me to my destination I neglected to see the exit only sign and found myself back on the H-3...going the wrong way! The negative aspect of the H-3 is that once you are on it, you are on it till you reach the other side of the island!
Sometimes with life as well, we make a wrong turn or miss a sign and we find ourselves back where we started. Enjoy the ride...as long as you are in the correct lane! -jason

The Golden Egg

2011-02-28T12:56:00.000-08:00

The Golden Egg

In one of Aesop’s famous fables he tells of a Goose that lays one golden egg everyday. The couple that owned the goose concluded it MUST contain a huge lump of gold within it and decided to see for themselves. After killing the goose they realized that it was like any other goose on the inside and in their attempts to gain immediate wealth they lost their daily blessings. Moral of the story, don’t be greedy.

Here’s Hewsop’s moral. Some friends recently left on vacation and asked me to care for their chickens. It was my pleasure to accept the responsibility and in exchange they offered me the eggs that the chickens produced daily, a worthwhile reward in my opinion. In my daily visits to the house just a few things had to be done. First an apple and/or some lettuce are given to them as a snack. Then the feeder is filled with some pellets and the water dispenser is rinsed and refilled. When this is done three eggs are waiting for me. Even though this is not much work at all I realized the work involved for my friend to care for his chickens. Realizing that the pen needed to be built, the bedding where they lay their eggs needs to be filled and cleaned, the cage needs to be cleaned of it’s “waste”, maintenance is required so the mongoose don’t break in, and so many other little things that must go into their care. Now, there are chicken that roam around our house and lay eggs occasionally, but I was told they are not safe to eat because of the uncertainty of bacteria from wild chicken and also the possibility of them being fertilized eggs and the potential to discover a Filipino delicacy waiting inside. So, these eggs were valuable for our family that goes through a five-dozen pack of eggs in three weeks.

In Aesop’s story we learn of greed and it’s consequences. In Hewsop’s story we see that not only must you be cautious of greed and the desire to get rich quick, but you must also be aware of the time and energy that is involved to get there and the daily care to maintain it. Most, if not all things in life require effort and maintenance. The pursuit of instant gratification is a dead end road. This is true not only for monetary gains, but for all things in life. Even for the things that are given to us, we must maintain.

One area of life that we so easily neglect is the spiritual. We try to fulfill our spiritual lives with things that are physical and emotional and they just distract for a little while. It’s like being absolutely thirsty and eating more to try and appease your thirst. True spiritual wealth can be found in God, the creator of our spirit, the victor of the spiritual world. While this spiritual treasure requires maintenance, the work to receive it has already been done. If you feel that spiritual emptiness, if you find yourself with a heavy spirit despite all attempts to seek fulfillment through other means, I would be happy to talk with you about God’s love for you by the filling of the Holy Spirit in your life when you choose to acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Son of God. True riches! -jason

Desecration of Independence

2011-02-09T23:31:00.001-08:00

Desecration of Independence

Ever since the 9/11 attacks FOX has done a reading of the Declaration of Independence before the Super Bowl. This Sunday it stood out. As different NFL personalities partnered with "everyday" people and read through the lines of this historical document I began to wonder, "How would these founding fathers feel about America today?"

With foggy recollection of history class, I believe this was a document drafted to address the war that had been going on with Great Britain. To escape the tyranny of British rule, the leaders of the 13 colonies created this declaration for the independence of the people of that land. Probably one of the most quoted lines comes out of the preamble, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Seems these days there is a strong focus on that last part, the pursuit of happiness, except the pursuit of happiness is not seen in a communal sense. "Self" has infected the essence of community and it's spreading rapidly. Righteousness gives way to self-righteousness, centeredness to self-centeredness, gratification to self-gratification and so on. There is little desire to see that all men, all people, are created equal and that we should seek to find that all have the opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Why should you? You work hard. You've earned a right. You deserve all that you have. Indulge in life. Seek all the pleasures that promise to satisfy your insatiable desires. Give in to all of the desires of your body and mind. Don't worry, there will always be more for you to long after. A better car, a more attractive sexual partner, a bigger house, more money, more drugs, more alcohol, improved technology, more and better of everything you can imagine. What is life for if you can't enjoy it? You have the right to pursue your own happiness and the other guy, if he can't figure it out, well too bad, every man for himself! Or, self-centeredness creates a callous on our hearts. We see evil happening and yet, that's not our problem. We see wrong, we see hurt, we see need and we mind our own business. Our idea of allowing for happiness is, "well if it makes you happy." We are a growing into a passive culture that let's "freedom" reign. Just do what makes you feel good. Values and morals are too restricting. Community has become disposable like everything else in life. I'll take care of me and you take care of yourself. I believe the self-centered nature of our country is our downfall. It is this very thing that lurks in the hearts of you and I both that will take us over and prove responsible the destruction of the foundation of this country. I'm convinced that there is a hidden paradox that our growing love for self actually causes us to hate ourselves more and like an addict we spiral deeper into it.

In the last paragraph of the declaration the writers make a pact to each other: "And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."

Appears to me that when the writers drafted this they had a sense of independence as a communal right something meant to hold people together, this country together. They give example by their mutual pledge to each other, their lives, fortunes and sacred honor. In my assessment of society I see a desecration of independence, at least the way that it seems it was meant to be. -jason

PIG TANNER

2011-01-20T22:46:00.001-08:00

PIG TANNER

We recently reviewed the final episode of LOST. There are few shows that suck me in and this is one of them. As I searched to break some of the mysteries of the show I found that someone discovered a theme of anagrams. I began to wonder if other real life mysteries could be solved with anagrams, like PARENTING.

That is where I came up with PIG TANNER. Not much time went into it and this was the most sensible thing I could come up with. While there are actually people that tan the hides of hogs(I Googled it), it doesn’t seem very common and pigs are a different story in itself. So really PIG TANNER, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and you know what, neither does parenting.

With advice from people, books to read and websites to reference, opinions vary. There really does not seem to be a “right” way to do it. There are a couple things that I think apply across the board. The first universal application to parenting is LOVE. There is something about parenting that brings out this deep love from within, something that you could have never imagined. I believe that for most parents this love is automatic. I do believe this love needs to be nurtured and given permission to be expressed. Some people fear love. They fear the things that love will move them to do or make them look. Love contradicts all self-centeredness and the two cannot coexist.

The other universal application to parenting is SACRIFICE. In order to really experience this LOVE, I believe that SACRIFICE needs to happen. Life changes. When you have a child, things are different and life will not be the same. Emily and I were talking and she said, “It’s amazing what people will do for their children.” I replied, “It’s sad what people won’t do for their children.” Sacrifice does not mean letting your kids walk all over you, or giving them whatever they want. Sacrifice is doing the BEST thing for your child(ren). Okay, so I did find one more anagram in PARENTING, REPANTING. According to Urban Dictionary it means wearing the same pair of pants more than one day in a row. Let me tell you, parenting sometimes spreads laundry days further apart than you’d like…I’m just saying, SACRIFICE.

It’s tough being a parent, but so amazing at the same time. There are no sure answers to parenting, any magical techniques or secret strategies. You love and you sacrifice and you work with your unique child in their unique situations. You try things that others have tried and it may or may not work. Whatever the case, hang in there parents! It may be one of the hardest jobs, and possibly the most rewarding. Here’s to you! Love and sacrifice also teaches you a little about life and I believe will lead you to appreciate every little thing even more. -jason

1 Corinthians 13:13 – “But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Mawwage is what bwings us together...

2011-01-11T12:57:00.000-08:00

Mawwage is what bwings us together...

Recently I have been thinking a lot of marriage. I have had some discussions with various people on their perspective of Ephesians 5:22 - 33. The big controversial line in there is, "the husband is the head of the wife." In today's society that will raise a lot of eye brows. Sadly it takes away from the line that is probably even more intense, "Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her..."

Through my conversations I have come up with some thoughts:
-Cultural consideration of the Bible is necessary and should never be used as an excuse to disregard life application. IF you believe in the Word of God, I do not believe you can pick and choose what is valid. Perhaps what needs to be considered is HOW it is valid.
- With cultural consideration, maybe the title of husband and wife is in question. Perhaps that can be contextualized to today's society where the wife is the head...? Jury is still out on that one, don't burn me at the stake yet.
- Regardless of title/ role applications, it appears necessary that there be a head of the family.
- The head does not imply an up and down structure or a superiority function. Maybe instead an aspect of TRUST.
-The head simply gives direction. Like when snowboarding, DO NOT LOOK AT THE TREE! Where your head is directed, your body will go.
-If one person is not designated to give direction then two heads emerge and the monster from Sesame Street is formed.

When there are two heads wanting to go in separate directions the body is pulled apart and often separation is the result.

I believe that every couple needs to have that talk. Who will lead? As we see from verse 25, whoever is designated the leader, sacrifice is required, MAJOR sacrifice. Being the head that gives direction is a huge responsibility, not a right to assert authority. Leaders of a Biblical household do so in love and with the heart of sacrifice.

My co-worker Mike said that he has heard people talk about the Biblical principle of marriage being out dated because we live longer now and one cannot expect a person to live with the same person for so long. It's kind of heartbreaking to hear. Marriages are now entered with the option of divorce. If it doesn't work out, if we get tired of each other, if my interests take me elsewhere then we can just go our separate ways.

Marriage is what brings a family together. Family. Is a spouse not considered family? Suddenly the spouse is an expendable family member, or not at all. Would we just give our children up for adoption because we have had enough? We are over them so we go our separate ways? Perhaps a child can disown their parent because things are just not working out. Maybe somewhere down the line we will have to integrate new vocabulary into our society. "This is my ex-mom." Seems ridiculous, yet our spouses no longer hold the same bonding in the family. They are expendable. Some might suggest that it is a different matter because your children are blood and your spouse is a legal arrangement. What about the bonding of blood that exists in the creation of your child? The blood relation you have with your spouse is that of a splendid creation, unique of yourselves, in the child that exists. Just as you would not flippantly give your child up for adoption, we need to consider the casual nature in which we consider divorce.

Marriage brings two people together. The inability to identify as one body is what tears people apart. Please slay the two-headed monster. I do not believe it is a matter of authority as much as it is a matter of direction.

-jason

Répondez S'il Vous Plaît

2010-11-29T17:46:00.000-08:00

Répondez S'il Vous Plaît

The term RSVP derived from the titled French phrase that is translated “Please respond”. During the time that Emily and I had to plan our wedding we browsed through a website recognizing Emily Post and the teachings of proper etiquette. In one statement from the authors of Emily Posts’ continuing charge for proper etiquette, it was noted that invitees are “obliged” to respond and suggested it is actually “inexcusably rude” not to respond. Unfortunately, the likelihood of some one not responding is great, almost guaranteed.

As our family mourns the loss of one of the sweetest women I have met, I think about our response to the invitation to life. Last week Tuesday we got word that Emily’s grandmother had passed away. Our hearts are heavy. From the short three years that I had the privilege to know her, she had truly impacted my life. Her love and warmth welcomed me in as one of her own grandchildren. Through my interactions with Nanny and the stories that were so often shared by all of the family, I see she lived life. Granddad had shown me pictures of them all over the world. When we would visit she was always fit with a big smile and loved to laugh and enjoy company. I would say, she responded to life’s invitation.

Many others recently that I had known personally have passed or experienced serious illness. Carol Mann was an amazingly loving woman that worked at the seminary across the hall from me. Her battle with cancer was ended due to a fatal head injury. I can still see the images of the cruise that she went on not long ago. One person shared a story that Carol told about dressing up for church even though unable to leave her home and watching a preacher on television. Carol, in my opinion, responded to life’s invitation.

When we enter the world we are given an invitation to life, to really live. So many stories I hear of loved ones dying or passed that made the best of their time. Still, other stories of people and patients that I have witnessed in the hospital die a lonely and isolated life. Now that I am in the psychiatric hospital I am made aware of the sadness and loneliness that mental health diseases tend to bring to people.

Respond to life! You have been given an invitation to live life to its fullest. Notice the nature around you. See the life within the busy streets. Give someone a hug and embrace life as you do. Laugh. Cry. Sing. Dance. Affirm life! RSVP!!!

There is another open invitation. Life eternal. As we approach the Christmas season we are reminded of the birth of Christ. Around 33 years after His birth, the Son of God would be tortured, beaten and killed on a cross, bearing the sins of the world. Sin, often impedes our ability to show up for life. We find pleasure in sin, and its often momentary. Momentary pleasures are sought regularly to sustain our desires, but sadly, that route is often self-centered and comes at a cost. In the end emptiness finds us wanting. When we accept that invitation from Christ, to live eternal with Him, we are free from sin and eternal life begins now!

In my heart I believe that Nanny had accepted that invitation to life eternal and is living with Christ. My spirit is grieved for her passing and also so grateful that she taught me, through her life, to live mine to the fullest. I love you Nanny. May the Lord receive your spirit into His eternal glory. -jason

Weed Whackers

2010-10-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

Weed Whackers

The past few days have seen periods of high wind and torrential rains. Add that to the already moist environment here in Kahalu'u and you can expect major growth in the vegetation. Being on a 1.5 acre lot makes for fun times keeping up the lawn. Today I saddled up the riding mower and took a spin around the property. The weeds were tall enough to creep over the mower as I drove through them. With the roaring of the engine I am left alone, with just my thoughts and what's in front of me.

The past couple of months have been stormy in other ways as well. With the challenges of church planting and other life responsibilities, the winds and rain of life have blown. Then before I know it the weeds take over my life. Emily and I have been noticing that our communication has been hurting in the process and we have had to take a step back, reevaluate, and fire up the lawn mower.

Weeds in the yard can drive you crazy, but the weeds in your life can drive you whacky! Know this, when the storms come, they grow even faster. Don't let too much time pass before you take care of life's garden. Grass, although good, still needs to be managed. Things like ministry, while a good thing, can overtake your family life. Then the weeds, you can cut them, but eventually you want to dig out the roots, because they grow back strong, especially when it rains!

Then there were these white crane looking birds. As you cut the grass they fly behind you and pick through the grass for bugs and other things you might have kicked up from the ground. It reminded me that when we take care of the "weeds" in our life, others have the potential to gain from it.

Hopefully as I cut through the weeds, you will find nourishment and growth in it and when you manage your lawn, let others follow behind you as they way find what they were looking for. -jason

Hurricane Season

2010-09-21T00:27:00.001-07:00

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"Mr Jones, You know right now we are in the midst of hurricane season. While we hope that a hurricane doesn't hit, we must be prepared. I hope this hurricane doesn't hit and if it does, we are here to make sure you are prepared."

This line has sent me into somber thoughts in the past couple of weeks. Part of the chaplaincy role at Kaiser Hospital is to be a part of the Palliative Care Team. For many, palliative care equals death, but really it is for chronic as well as terminal illnesses. The team comes together to decide, once you leave the hospital, how will you be supported. The reality is, many of the patients we meet with are faced with the possibility of imminent death. Looking at my health, my diet, my exercise habits (or lack there of) and my family history of medical conditions, I can't help but wonder what hurricanes may be forming in my life.

Now that I have a family, mortality takes on a whole different dimension of responsibility. You look at life differently. I want to be here to see my daughter start school, to give her boyfriends a hard time, to take pictures of her in her prom dress, to see her off to college, to dance with her at her wedding and to play with my grandchildren. These are so far down the line and we are still young.

So how do you balance the worry about living and being healthy and just enjoying life? Too much on one end and life could pass you by. Too much on the other end and the hurricane might hit sooner than expected. Where's the balance?

Paul's statement has been on my mind, "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." As a Christian my belief is that after life is over, I will live eternity in the presence of God. After death, there is life abundant! So the fear of death should be met with faith that God keeps His promises. For life, LIFE! To live is Christ. There are things to live for! My family, to live all those great memories. Friendships that enrich those memories even more. Most of all, above everything else, to tell the world that Christ is alive, that death could not bind Him and He awaits your decision to live eternally with him. There is freedom in Christ in life and death and choice to prepare for hurricanes. There is free will to live out the fate that has been ordained.

With freedom in Christ I can prepare for hurricanes and enjoy life knowing that if the storms should come I did what I could and the Lord's will is sovereign.

-jason

weeds

2010-09-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

The seed is planted and no one knows,

they look like you and me.

The seed takes root and then it grows,

transforming what you see.

Like years were skipped on the way to days,

and life is growing thin.

Then the one who comes and helps and prays,

doesn't know that it's within.

Some Good Advice

2010-08-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

Since being in Hawaii I have noticed that a lot of people have opinions on how to handle certain life situations. I got a bag full of bay leaves from someone to keep the critters away, and when they do come around I was instructed by a couple others to spray them with soapy water and that will kill them without getting chemicals around Aubrey (and Gary). We have gotten advice on parenting, running a church, landscaping, household maintenance and more. It reminds me of a commercial that played when I was younger with people giving advice on how to cure a cold, including one guy at the deli holding a big sandwich saying, "You need to feed a cold."

I'm not bringing this up to complain, I am very appreciative for the advice of others. My reason for visiting this thought is to see how much this relates to my faith in Christ and how I share it with others. While I abide by the belief that people can make their own decisions on whether or not they want to choose to follow Christ, I want my witness to be more than just sharing advice. I would like to find more passion and confidence in what I am sharing. Jesus is not some home remedy or old wives tale. Jesus is not some self-help guru that will pull you out of your depression or life crises. Jesus is the Son of God, came in the form of man to be sacrificed through crucifixion so that we all might be saved from the lostness of humanity.

While you might have opinions on how to treat a carpet stain or house break a dog, I hope your faith in Christ is without uncertainty and when you share the Good News with others it is delivered in boldness, love and respect for the uncompromisable Son of God. -jason

What You Stand For

2010-08-02T12:51:00.001-07:00

What You Stand For

We love our little Aubrey and enjoy watching her grow from a sweet baby to a precious little girl. She is the absolute joy in our lives and we could not be more blessed.

With all that she is learning and developing in she does not seem to have that confidence to stand and walk on her own. She will pull up on stuff and cruise along furniture, she will walk when you hold her hand, but she will not do it on her own. We noticed that she seems to be really cautious. So we will just wait till she is ready, encouraging her along the way. One means of encouragement is to just hold her and walk with her, help build her confidence.

The other day as we sat in the doctor's office and I was holding her hands as she stood in front of me. She was standing fine and someone walked in the door. Completely distracted by the person that had come in she didn't even realize she had let go of my hands. She was standing on her own, perfectly steady and still. When she snapped out of her curious gaze, she looked down at her feet and realized she was standing on her own. Suddenly her knees buckled and her legs turned to Jello. She began to reach for my hands to brace her stance.

The potential that we posses within us is often greater than what we think we are capable of. What we can achieve, what we can accomplish, what we can create and what we produce, is frequently beyond what we believe we can do. It seems to me that those people that go on to be successful in life are those that reach their full potential by pressing through their doubts and disbeliefs.

I do believe that with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, our potential increases exponentially. In Matthew's account of Jesus' life he recalls Peter taking a leap of faith and walking on water to Jesus. After a few steps he sees the waves and begins to doubt. Slowly he begins to sink. Jesus questions his doubt and shows disappointment in his faith.

The person that God has made you to be is a person that can accomplish great things. With our belief and faith in Jesus Christ our potential is even greater. Both belief and faith must exist. Belief is our ability to acknowledge on a cognitive level and faith is that action we take when we let go of the hands that are holding us up and discover that we can stand on our own. -jason

Enjoy the Ride

2010-05-31T10:22:00.001-07:00

Enjoy the Ride

A week ago three guys were wearily driving down Interstate 5 after the midnight hour motivated by the anticipated thrill of surfing for the next four days. After a few rotations between the three seats in the car that were not being occupied with our gear the daylight broke and we were well into Southern California, on our way to our first stop, Malibu. It was as we had hoped, the waves were rolling in.

The perfect stall opened up, we squeezed into our skin tight wet suits, waxed up our boards and crossed the street through the morning traffic. As always we paused for a second and said a quick prayer before paddling out into the water. For the month or so leading up to this trip I had been a little concerned about my physical conditioning. Drew had been surfing once or twice a week and Jon had been committed to an exercise and diet program. I, on the other hand, stared at a computer all day and made few attempts at exercise. For about a week I did pushups in the morning while Aubrey played on the ground. That did not last long. So as we begin our paddle out it begins to materialize that I was definitely not in half the shape that Drew and Jon were in. For the few hours we spent at Malibu I caught zero waves. Disappointed at my inability to catch a wave I paddled around to different spots thinking it might have an easier time there. Not till the end of the first day’s session did I realize, more than physical condition, I lacked mental conditioning. Simply thinking that I was out of shape, intimidated by a wave that looked as though it was going to break on me, my fear of getting in someone’s way and just the thought that I was at such an iconic surf spot kept me from engaging and enjoying the surf.

At the car we all peeled away the wetsuits that had compressed to our bodies and I peeled away the thoughts that developed during this session. Where is the balance of thoughtful consideration and action? In a book that I recently read titled Fierce Heart, Brian Keaulana, seasoned and accomplished waterman, is quoted while he is training lifeguards for the big wave season, “There are two surfers we need to be watching out for in the big surf, the ones that are overly confident and the ones that are overly cautious.” There is a happy medium of safety and surrender that I am learning about. As we made our way further south and found more great surf, I was able to break through a little bit of the mental barrier and needing to be overly cautious. I still chose to mostly pick off shoulders and avoid the lineups as physical conditioning really did become an issue, but I was able to surf and enjoy.

Now that I am home I am led to think about the other areas of my life that might need to be re-evaluated in finding this balance. Am I enjoying life to the fullest or am I letting certain mental barriers to interfere? In my career pursuits, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my parenting, in all of the areas of life, how much do I need to just let go? I know for a fact that I over think and over analyze to the point that I often let life pass me by. I am reminded of a verse that is frequently referenced in similar situations, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lead on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5,6. Could this be where the balance lies? We must not lean on our own understanding and He will make our paths straights. Perhaps He simply does that, makes our paths straight but still we must choose to walk. “Trust in the Lord” is the first step. We must choose to walk in the way of the Lord, submit ourselves to Him and continue to walk in the path he leads us on. As we walk we put our faith in His hands. Drew shared an illustration yesterday; just as we must be reverent of the waves we must also be reverent of God. Just as the waves hold all the power and direct us left or right so does God should we choose to follow Him. Confidence in your choices and submission to the knowledge of a greater power allows us to enjoy the ride. -jason

An Amazing Race

2010-05-13T18:57:00.001-07:00

An Amazing Race

This past Sunday was the finale for the Amazing Race. Teams of two raced around the world, completing tasks with the risk of being eliminated should they be the last team to arrive at the end of each leg of the race. This season we favored the cowboys from Oklahoma. Brothers, Jet and Cord were just a couple of good ol' boys travelling around the world on this elaborate scavenger hunt. While other teams had melt downs, threw fits and surrendered to hopelessness, Jet and Cord worked together, even in the midst of possible elimination and made it to the final three.

Disappointment filled our hearts when two other brothers walked home with the million dollars. The very guys that would lose their cool when things got rough or take it out on a cab driver calling him an idiot in the midst of their frustration, these were the champions. These guys won the prize. That's not how it was supposed to end!

In the last interviews Jet and Cord again showed nothing but respect. Not reflecting on what was not theirs but on what they did gain from this experience. Two brothers, no million dollars, but still seemed to have incredible joy in their hearts. No complaints, no regrets and insight on a much greater prize.

My mind turned to 1 Corinthians 9:

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable."

So I ask myself, what is the race? The human race? The rat race? The race of our lives, the purpose of life? Why do we live every day? Because we are all in the race. All the runners are running, but only one receives the prize. So run to win. Run so as the one who gets the prize. What Paul is saying may sound hopeless, if only one wins, why run? We run because the one that wins is Jesus Christ. He came as man to run the race amongst us. On that cross He gave everything for all of man's sin. The weight of humanity's errant ways plunged him to the depths of hell and Jesus broke free. He broke through the bondage of the eternal abyss and conquered sin. When we come to believe this in our hearts and confess this with our mouths, we have won the race for Christ has won it for us.

Is there more to life than money, power, fame, all the pleasures that come with our mortal lives? They are just consolation prizes. Not wrong to possess, but pale in comparison to the prize that's eternal. We are all running the same race. We are NOT all running for the same prize. While in this life it may seem others, who appear less deserving, are receiving the prizes of life's race, I will know that a prize waits in eternity and is available for all who wish to receive it. - jason

Hew'sletter - 042710

2010-04-27T21:08:00.001-07:00

Hew'sletter – 042710

We have returned from the islands safely and are glad to be home after a busy week.

Time with family is always great and we were able to do some of that.

Three days were spent in our church planter's conference over in Waianae. We walked away from those three days feeling pretty good about our next step. The conference overwhelmed us with information and with what we were able to sort though we got a general picture of the foundation we need to lay for our church work.

Thursday was spent meeting with some key leaders that are going to be involved in this process. The second meeting of the day took us to Kahalu'u and the church property. Looking over everything we see that there is a lot of work to be done. From ground termite damage to fixing lights around the buildings we will need to invest a lot of time and money into seeing that this property is operational. The pastor that we met with offered to help out and seemed very positive about the work that needs to be done there.

Friday was our day of rest when we drove to the North Shore and saw our friends. Just a few months after the terrible car accident that left two brothers in a coma, the Keller family was back in Hawaii getting their son re-enrolled in the University of Hawaii. The Lord answers prayers.

Prayer requests:

- Packing and moving goes smoothly and the means are provided.

- Emily and I can make movements on developing a vision in like mind.

- I can find a good part-time job to support us when we first get there.

Thank you for your continued support.

Aloha,

Jason, Emily and Aubrey Hew

Hew'sletter 4/14/2010

2010-04-14T16:08:00.001-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

Here's a quick update.

Discussion with Ken Brooks picked up and he along with the Hawaii Convention are working very hard to get things in place for our move. Their hard work is paving the way for a smooth transition in July.

Along the subject of paving, we have received notice from the insurance company that the driveway on the church property needs to be redone before we can open the doors to the church. An estimate for this job proved more expensive than the convention budget could allow. While they are generously purchasing the concrete, we run into the challenge of finding a person with contractor level knowledge of concrete work. It seems we are able to find laborers for this job, but need to find a skilled foreman.

Unexpectedly a few people have contacted us with a desire to provide financial support for our move and our ministry. I hope to soon have certain financial parameters set up so that gifts to our ministry can be recognized as a charitable donation. We are so blessed by this and continue to be blessed by every other form or support that is outpouring to us.

This Saturday we will be returning to the islands for a training conference. The convention has provided financial support to make it possible to return. It will be a busy trip for us as we will be in the conference multiple days and in various meetings to plan for our move home and the start of our church ministry.

Thank you for your prayers and we appreciate your continued support in our lives.

Aloha,

Jason, Emily and Aubrey

Take Two of These...

2010-04-08T07:35:00.001-07:00

Take two of these…

The 102 fever has subsided, chills have warmed up and body aches have eased to a subtle muscle fatigue. My throat still aches of shards of glass when I swallow. Even though the doctor's suspicion of Strep and Pertussis were ruled out I must continue on the antibiotics he prescribed me. If it persists I need to call them back and perhaps they will make me take another drug.

When I was sitting in the pharmacy waiting for my prescription to be filled I watched and listened as the long lines filtered through the nylon barriers. It was surprising how many people were on multiple medications and apparently for an extended period. While I waited for the pharmacy to catch up to the rush of patients that never really settled down, I began to wonder how medicated we are in America. How many medications do we NEED to have and are there other solutions?

This, might I add, comes at a time that Emily and I are rejoicing over her discontinuation of all her medications. After seeing a nutritionist and evaluating her medical conditions and medications taken, Emily has changed her diet and is medication free. Every now and again since her "new life" has begun she has taken an allergy pill here and there but not on a daily basis as she did before.

These thoughts have drifted into an inquisition of the spiritual state of our world. It is my belief that there are so many people in this world that are sick in their spirit. As I look through magazines and watch television I see that the world prescribes all kinds of things for us to remedy our ill spirits. We medicate with recreational activities, substances, foods, and all sorts of sensory pleasures. Most of these things just cover up symptoms of our broken spirits and never really heal. In my belief I am also convinced that there is one remedy to this spiritual ailment, Jesus Christ. The virus or bacteria that infect our spirit is sin and over two thousand years ago Jesus came to us as the Son of God and the son of man with the intention of bearing the weight of the world's sin upon himself. The consequence was physical and spiritual suffering and death. With the power of God the Father, He broke out of those bounds to pave a way for all to be forgiven for their sins. No pill to swallow, no shot to endure, all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord.

Just as Emily takes an allergy pill every now and again, I am currently on antibiotics and our baby girl just got off of her antibiotics. No, prescription medicine is not bad. I am certain it has done miraculous things in people lives. I see the need for it. In the same way all those things of pleasure in the world is not bad, if one is not reliant on it. Vacations are wonderful, food is delightful, and as Drew shared recently, surfing has a noticeable physical uplift. When money runs out for vacations, when diets are restricted to foods outside of your favorites category, or when surfing is an afterthought because you moved inland, what are you leaning on to hold up your spirits. I hope it is the eternal cure, Jesus Christ. -jason

Hew'sletter

2010-03-29T19:32:00.001-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

It has been close to five years since I first moved to the Bay Area to attend Golden Gate Seminary. Many of you have supported me in a variety of ways and for that I am truly grateful. Before I got here I knew little about the Bible and the Christianity. My faith rested on one thing, Jesus Christ. During my time here I have learned more about God's Word, about the history of the Church and the development of Christianity while completing my Master in Divinity. I have also come to know more about myself and grown in my spirituality and as a person. In the end one thing remains the same; my faith will continue to rest on the truth and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

This June Emily is finishing her last class and we must move out of campus housing. There is an opportunity that we are very excited about in Hawaii. It is a church that has been around for a while and recently closed its doors. I am working with the Hawaii Baptist Convention and a few other leaders in Hawaii to come back and lead the way for a new church plant at this location. My hope for this church is that we can be a positive light in the community and a place that is a constant source of proclamation of the Good News in Jesus Christ. A place where Christian's can gather and grow, encourage and show love to one another so that they may go out and share the Gospel. Emily has begun the process for her licensing for Marriage and Family Therapy and is interested in practicing in a Christian Counseling Center or a church setting.

There is one snag that we ran into last week and that is the denial of one of our funding sources. While it was disappointing I do feel we are following where the Lord has called us. Sometimes disappointing things turn out to be blessings in the end. We'll just have to find another way to support ourselves financially.

Should you feel led to be in prayer for us we are asking for your support in this way. If you are interested in being updated on the progress of this journey, and are NOT already on my journal e-mail list, please let me know and I would love to keep you updated.

Please pray:

- That we will be able to find all the appropriate resources to make the move from California to Hawaii.

- That I can secure a supplementary job before or soon after we get there.

- That Emily will be able to move smoothly and quickly through the process of obtaining her license for Marriage and Family Therapy.

- That little Aubrey will handle the move well.

- That the vision for this church plant can be a good thing in the eyes of the Lord.

- That I will be able to identify a core team of people to be the foundation for this church plant.

Again, if you are NOT already on my journal e-mail list please let me know if you are interested in receiving updates. All that I have done so far could not be possible without your support. I hope that we will continue to receive that in our new journey!

Aloha,

Jason, Emily and Aubrey Hew

Story of Our Lives

2010-03-28T09:20:00.001-07:00

Looks like the end has finally come. June 18th marks our final day living at Golden Gate Seminary. It has been a challenging and enriching five years. There have been some low points and also the highest points of my life. Many things were gained over the past few years. While much that has been gained comes in the form of intangible life lessons or priceless jewels of wife and daughter, there has also been a lot of plain ol' STUFF!

When sitting on our sofa and staring at our book shelf and all of the books that we have collected I get mixed emotions. Some are from our counseling programs, some from seminary and some just personal reading. It would be safe to guess that 90% of the books in my collection are only partially read. They remain on my book shelf because one of these days, real soon, when there is a little more time, they will be read. The desire is there, the interest is there. The time has not been given.

Another thing of value that we will be taking with us is our friendships. Some very special people have entered our lives and we hope they will remain there. Then thoughts collided and questions arose. How many books will remain partially read? How many friends will we leave thinking, "I wish we had spent more time together"? Interest is there, desire is there. Time had not been given. There are books that you skim through and some you just reference and its good to know the ones that you want to read cover to cover and keep forever. The reality is that my book shelf will continue to be filled with partially read books. My personality, the reason why counseling was a chosen profession, kind of dictates a lot of those situations.

As I decide which books on my shelf are worth keeping and which I need to part ways with, I also sort through the life stories I have read and find peace in the fact that I just can't read every book cover to cover, time will not allow it. Some day I may come across those books again, but for now I will treasure the stories that I have been able to invest my time in and keep them always with me. -jason

50/50

2010-03-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

50/50

A while back I had lofty visions of a free family magazine/publication that I would develop. I went to talk to my uncle who had owned a couple of very successful magazines and he schooled me on the challenges in such an undertaking. Our conversation led to marriage and he said, "People think marriage is 50/50. If you go into a marriage thinking that, you will be greatly disappointed." Years later I am in my own marriage and my uncle's words have given me peace. Marriage is not 50/50. Sometimes one person gives more than the other. When I am unable, Emily steps it up and takes on more and vice versa and there is no tally of what she has done compared to what I have done.

In so many ways this concept is not a reality. The fallacy of 50/50 manifests itself in the form of justice and fairness, equality for all. I stand to argue that this thinking just invokes unrealistic expectations and eventual disappointment and frustration. In the parent/child relationship there really is no agreement of 50/50. I jokingly said to Aubrey when she was a newborn, "You better be changing daddy's Depends when he is old and decrepit! In reality there is no such agreement. Aubrey might grow up with no desire to care for her aging parents. I cannot hold on to that expectation. Along this same line I see how my parents have given 100% with no expectation of return. I'm sure you can also see that in your parents as well. Can you imagine if the expectation was a 50/50 agreement?

Of course the ultimate example is the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. At the creation of man sin quickly entered in the picture and man chose to partake. Sin offerings were established as a sign of repentance and recognition of sin. Man still struggled to maintain a devoted life to God and so we received the Messiah. The Son of God became the son of man so that He could take the place of that sin offering. He endured the infliction of extreme physical pain, coupled with emotional distress and the spiritual suffering that I feel we may not understand till we see God face to face. Our part is simple, recognize that. Acknowledge that this is what God had done for us. That He had sent his Son to endure suffering unfathomable. When you do that you are compelled to acknowledge sin and seek repentance. This was no 50/50 arrangement. God did all the work, you just have to accept it. -jason

My Close Call

2010-03-03T18:06:00.000-08:00

After a great breakfast with a friend we paid our bill and parted ways.

The moment I left the parking lot I realized I forgot to go to the bathroom. Maybe I should turn back...nah, I wasn't that far from home.

Before I could get on the freeway threat level went from orange to red. 10 cups of coffee decided it wanted out and not through the front door. The light seemed to be red for hours. The windows started to get foggy as my body heat kicked up the moisture level. My head would have been dripping with sweat, if only it could.

Where can I go??? Across the freeway, there's a coffee shop. Suddenly I am a race car driver, ready to tear across the line at the first sight of green. I'm off!

I'll have to do a U turn to get to the coffee shop on the other side of the freeway, but there's hope, a gas station. In the pouring rain I find the first spot that even closely resembles a parking stall. On the other side of the building I find the front door and my heart sinks. "OUT OF ORDER". One of life's cruel jokes perhaps. The guy behind the counter shrugs at me without breaking away from his phone conversation.

As I stand in the rain I desperately scan the area for another bathroom. It was like the climactic scene in a movie when the main character has lost all hope and embraces the cleanse of the heaven sent flood.

NO! I can't give up hope. Lets see...behind the dumpster? It's pouring, who will see me? NO WAY, I won't do it. I can just run across the street to the coffee shop. I Usain Bolt across the first three lanes and throw on the brakes in the median as the cars on the other side roll by. Morning work traffic. Lot's of cars. Can I pace back and forth in the pouring rain, in the middle of morning rush hour traffic and still look calm? Based on the strange stare of the woman at the bus stop, NOPE.

Wondering if the pouring rain would be enough to wash away any accidents, I see a break in the traffic. Sloshing through puddles in my work shoes I bust into the door. The overly caffeinated barista greets me with a smile. "I can help you here." In the calmest voice possible I ask if they have a bathroom. She must have stared at me for at least of few minutes telling me with her mind that I was an awful person for using their bathroom with no intent to buy their coffee. With the key finally in hand I try it on three doors before finally finding the right one.

Its 830am and all is well...

Life lesson? Listen to your gut...or your bowels.

The Next American Idol

2010-03-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

Aubrey loves to laugh...

...even at daddy's scary face.

And she loves to play the drums...

...on whatever is nearby.

She also loves to sing...

...as well as any 7 month old can sing.

H-CAP

2010-02-15T21:12:00.000-08:00

I know I just posted a journal but I am just a little annoyed and perplexed by the ignorance and self-centered posture of this person I interacted with today.

My office has windows that look across the entrance of the seminary. Right out front is a small parking lot for faculty and a few visitor stalls. Today a student got dropped off by her boyfriend who decided he wanted to wait for her all day in the car. The car was parked in the stall marked, "President's Guest" and he wasn't even parked completely in the stall. Our meter maid went and eventually spoke to him and the bonehead drove off. Not too long after he pulls back into the same stall as his girlfriend is coming out. They rifle through the car for a while and in the process dump some trash in the parking lot. Then she heads back into the building. Mr Clueless reclines in his car for a bit and decides he is going to move, so he pulls out of that stall and parks in one of the professors stalls. It is my assumption that the idiot was getting a little hot in the sun so he pulls out and proceeds into the handicap stall, THE HANDICAP STALL. Music blaring, feet hanging out the window and fast sleep. The tipping point was when a woman came into the parking lot looking as though she wanted to park in the handicap stall. She is forced to park elsewhere and LIMPS her way up to the campus. After unsuccessfully attempting to call all of the appropriate support staff I decide its lunch time. When I walk up to Rip Van Winkle he is reclined feet up and hairy belly bulging out of his half unbuttoned shirt. Seriously? So the conversation goes like this:

Jason: Hey man, there was a woman that needed to park in the handicap stall and had to park somewhere else.

DA MASS: Oh, I'm picking up my girlfriend.

Jason: Do you have a handicap sticker?

DA MASS: Oh, no. I'm picking up my girlfriend.

Jason: Yeah, you've been here for more than half an hour.

DA MASS: I know.

Jason: AND YOU'RE IN A HANDICAP STALL!

DA MASS: Yeah, I'm picking up my girlfriend.

Jason: YOU ARE IN A HANDICAP STALL! IS THAT REGISTERING?

The idiot looks at me like I just ruined his party and starts his car.

Really?

I just don't understand sometimes. I just don't get it.

Kind of makes me depressed. Seriously.

Your Biggest Fan

2010-02-15T19:34:00.001-08:00

Your Biggest Fan

It's been a week since the Saints won their first Super Bowl and I'm sure the state of Louisiana is still engaged in celebration. What an amazing game between two teams that have shown up and performed a near perfect season. While I thought the Colts were going to pull this one off, I rejoice in the first victory of a team that represents a state and more specifically a city that had recently experienced unfortunate tragedy. Amidst the celebration of a victory, lies the contemplative recap of a defeat. To add insult to injury the defeated somehow has to navigate through the voice of the critics.

Before the Super Bowl I had been listening to sports radio and watching sports coverage on television and all the experts were raving about Peyton Manning, quarterback for the Colts. Sports analysts were discussing how he has a keen instinct to read the defense and make changes at the line. The radio jockeys were ranking Peyton Manning in the top five quarterbacks of all time, "Possibly the best to play the game." Then the Super Bowl takes place. It's a close game up until the 4^th quarter. A few minutes into it things start falling apart. Manning throws an interception and in the last two minutes cannot get into the end zone to give the Colts a fighting chance. It's the end of their near perfect season, supposedly their first unintentional loss and really, the one that counted most. In the days to follow I tune into sports radio and hear the harsh criticism of the very people that were hoisting Peyton Manning on their shoulders. "He's over rated." "He'll never be amongst the top quarterbacks because he can't win the big game." "How can he be considered one of the best if he only has one Super Bowl ring?" Then on a television program one of their analysts said, "The problem is, Manning just has too much going on, he is calling the plays from the line, that's just too much for one person to do." The very thing that he was praised for becomes ammunition for criticism.

Living in the lime light exposes you as a target for the world. Just last week a friend was talking about the evangelist, Billy Graham and the life he lived. He made sure he was not alone with a woman. I heard somewhere that he even refused to get into an elevator if it meant he would be in there alone with a woman. Some may call him a prude, but while the media frenzy around people like Tiger Woods, no one could accuse Rev Graham for behaving inappropriately in that regard. Although most of us are not high profile evangelist, pro golfers or all-star quarterbacks we are viewed and judged by those around us. The limelight may be smaller on our stages of life, but it still shines. The sad reality is that we can and will be judged by our mistakes. I know because I have thrown my share of interceptions, I have fumbled the ball on 4^th and goal and I have even been caught for intentional grounding. While the critics grow around you, the people that stick behind you are your true fans. Perhaps this is a lesson in the way we could view others as well. Is it possible to take a step back and look at the big picture? In what situation or with which people may you need to offer a little grace?

Through it all there is one person I know that has grace readily available when we are willing to accept it. Despite what this relativistic society is selling, there is right and wrong. Unfortunately it often takes tragedy for people to realize it. The reality of right and wrong is that we will, without a doubt, at some point in our lives, mess up. When we do we will find out who our true fans are. Your number one fan, the one with grace abundant, is Jesus Christ. He laid down His life so that no matter what mistakes we make, the victory is already ours. -jason

Whatever Suits You

2010-02-01T22:31:00.001-08:00

Whatever Suits You

The past four and a half years in California had brought about more situations in which a suit was required or preferred than the first 28 years of my life in Hawaii. In times of need I would go to my one suit, Hugo Boss! Pretty styling right? NOPE! When I went to get it altered at a suit shop the tailor said, "I can do the quick and cheap alteration or I can do it the right way for a lot more, personally, I wouldn't spend money on this cheap suit." So I went with the cheap quick alteration which he promised me would last a couple of uses and would start to fall apart. While it hasn't fallen apart yet I have worn it a few times and keep anticipating an awkward wardrobe malfunction at the most inopportune moment. So imagine my surprise when I am gifted with three suits that were donated by a retired pastor that lives in the area. And they fit like a charm!

Over the last couple of weeks I have worn a suit to work, except for casual Fridays of course, where khakis and Aloha shirts echo the tunes of Kimo Kahoano in my head. I began to wonder if wearing a suit would influence the way others interacted with me or the way I felt about myself. There is one story I just heard, about a woman that worked from home and would get dressed up in order to get in the mindset of work. We all know to dress up for job interviews because what we are wearing impacts the way employers view you. So at the end of these two weeks I was hoping to have something profound, maybe even Earth shattering to share. Alas, nothing. Most people just asked, "Where you going?" "Got a meeting?" or simply pointed out that I was all dressed up. Working in an environment where suits are not totally uncommon, many people had no response at all. Kind of anticlimactic, eh?

So here are some things I concluded. First, when you set a first impression it takes a while to change the way people view you. I am just not a suit kind of guy. My father-in-law is impressed when I wear shoes. So to wear suits, well, that just not my style and after three years in one office, people know that. Perhaps every day will be Aloha Friday for me!

The other thing I realized is that everyone dressed differently at our seminary. There is sort of tolerance for variety of dress from the staff to the professors. Isn't that so true in life? We all dress differently. We all have our own styles and in time it became acceptable. Generations have developed in such a way that it's not such a shock to see a man in a suit sitting next to a skate boarder with a purple mohawk. We live in a world where my shaved head means nothing more than a disguise for my follicle deficiencies. While complete tolerance is not realized and I am still saddened by racism and violence based on stereotypes, I think we have definitely come along way. My only fear is that the momentum has gotten some of us swinging too far. The push for tolerance seems to have bred some intolerance. Unlike the acceptance of dress, the intolerance is more apparent in perspectives like worship styles in churches, political arenas, theological representations, amongst other things. Often I hear of the disgust with how people are stuck in their ways and just don't get it. As a member of a Southern Baptist Church I often hear criticism about the conservative nature of the church, and yet these are the very people that take advantage of the low tuition costs at its seminaries, the same people that benefit from the resources that the denomination has to offer. People complain about America and Americans and yet they choose to live in this country. The benefits are good enough to partake of, but "I don't have to be happy doing it!"

Change is something that I embrace. When people are unhappy at their churches, in their country, at their work, fight, fight for change. At the same time, there needs to be acceptance of where you are, the way things are run. If not, leave. Find another job, find another church, deport to another country. Stop your complaining and be a change agent in the environment you have accepted to be a part of or just move on.

What does this have to do with my suit experiment? Not much. It just came to my mind as I started typing. So take it for what it's worth, if it suits you. -jason

Updates on Boys in Coma

2010-01-29T23:10:00.001-08:00

This is the last update that will be posted about the two boys from my church that were in a terrible car accident right before Christmas.

Thank you for all of your prayers and concern.

http://www.kellerboys.org/joomla/

jason

Laughter of a 6 Month Old

2010-01-25T06:59:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple pictures we took on the day she turned 6 months old.

Aubrey doesn't laugh very often so we had to get this on video. Apparently she thinks Barney is pretty funny.

Quinoa - Girl Band

2010-01-20T19:10:00.001-08:00

Shannon was watching Aubrey and snapped some shots. Emily and I love this one. Our little girl and her grumpy face.
Aubrey had her first solid food today. Because Emily has food sensitivity to gluten, it was recommended to feed her Quinoa, an alternative grain. We will find out this week from the pediatrician if we can go to the rice cereal.

Isn't part of the job description for Daddy to teach farting noises?

Later in the evening Carsyn was over and I decided I would try to harvest some talent from these girls.

Da Da

2010-01-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

Aubrey started saying Da Da...

....we just need her to say it to the right parent.

Chew Your Pride Before You Swallow

2010-01-14T08:11:00.001-08:00

Chew Your Pride Before You Swallow

Recently Emily started seeing a nutritionist to see if a change in diet and eating habits could help with her overall health. Together we attended a two hour orientation session and I walked away feeling confident in what she had to offer. There were some new things that I learned from that time and also some good things to be reminded of. For instance, chew well before you swallow.

In case you were not already aware chewing your food well can be very helpful in the digestive process and for your overall health. Not chewing your food can lead to infections, gas, discomfort and other health issues. I remember my grandmother insisted my grandfather got cancer because he didn’t chew his food well. Some early mornings during high school a bunch of us would go to McDonald’s for breakfast and we would all get annoyed with Will because he would cut his food into small pieces and chew every piece a zillion times before swallowing it. He would tell us, “I like to savor my food, it gives me a sense of fullness.” Of course, he was right. Too many times I have had meals with friends and heard, “Geez Jason, did you chew?” I am a fast eater and a poor chewer.

With this friendly reminder I discovered that I am not doing a good job digesting some of the intangibles of life, i.e., my pride. During my trip back to Hawaii I got together with the 949 Gang. No, not a group of thugs and hoodlums…well there is a guy from Waipahu. We’ve maintained a long running tradition birthed out of the resounding halls of 949 Prospect St. For almost a decade a group of men and women entered competition after competition in an effort to win the coveted “Belt”. Recently I asked Emily if she thought I was competitive. She didn’t think so, and I didn’t think so either, but there was something that reared its ugly head when I was in a competitive situation. Entering this night as the reigning champ I knew I was up for some sturdy competition.

We played a card game for the belt and during the first round, I lost. No shame in that. Marvo is the new champ and I am happy to turn it over and accept my defeat. Then round two. During this final competition of the evening I make my move, a risky move that does not pay off. When stares come my way with the message of shocked inquisition I begin to feel the defensive come on. I begin to explain myself and on the next hand I do the exact same thing with positive results, just to prove a point.

In retrospect I really do not think I am competitive and the fact that I lost that hand was not the reason I got defensive. It was the thought that I made an unwise move. It is the fact that I am too prideful to admit that I may have made a stupid move or worse, someone else thought I made a stupid move. This comes out when I play poker too. I love Texas Hold “Em and I feel that I do fairly well at the game. More times than not, Lady Luck sits in someone else’s lap and when I feel I have made a good move and I get a bad beat I can’t let it go. I replay it over and over in my head. It gets worse when someone makes a comment that suggests an ill-advised move. I lose sleep at night. I call Dan and Drew, I send Derek a chat, just to seek assurance that I did not make a stupid move. Just to stroke my pride. All the while I try to pretend it doesn’t bother me. I swallow my pride whole. My body can’t take it and up it comes again, unable to digest.

Life’s lessons can be a great source of personal nutrition. Even with the most nutritious foods if it is not properly consumed the full potential of its nutrition is lost. When you encounter something in life that you know will require digesting, you can bet that there will be some good nutrition coming out of it. Get the most out of it. Chew before you swallow. Talk it out with someone. Write a journal about it. Bother all your friends and family with a mass email just so you can process the lesson that life has for you. Chew before you swallow. Digestion starts there. -jason

If My People Pray

2009-12-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

If My People Pray

A 7am wake up call on Saturday morning informed me that tragedy has struck one of the families from our church. Our friends received a call just a couple hours earlier informing them that their only two sons are in the hospital, both in a coma.

During my visit Ruedi Sr, the father of the two boys, tells me that his son Matthias, who had just finished his first semester at the University of Hawaii, was coming home for Christmas. His original 8pm arrival into the San Francisco Airport was delayed till 4am. With his older son, Ruedi Jr, living in the city, it seemed a good option to have him pick up his younger brother. Not too far from the airport someone driving at high speeds collided with the two boys and killed himself while sending them into a coma.

Sitting with Ruedi Sr I drew reminiscent of my time as a chaplain at Marin General Hospital. There are questions that often run through the minds of loved ones and while most of them know that the questions they ask are often without resolve, it must be asked. The first is not so much a question but a questioning of the series of events. “If the airlines were on time”, “If I had just gone to the airport myself”, the scenarios are endless. Then the question of “why”, perhaps the most perplexing question of all. Here we have a sweet family, loving, dedicated, friendly, generous and kind. Why would something so tragic happen to such a wonderful family? Although I have not heard it from our friends, often this question gets thrown onto God. Why God? Why would you allow this to happen?

Through all that I have experienced I have formulated my answer thus far. Why did these boys end up in a coma? Because some guy decided he needed to be somewhere so badly that he drove 100 plus miles an hour to get there. Consequently two young brothers were on the road that same time and became victims of another man’s poor choice. Why does God allow it to happen? Would you really want to live a life absent of freewill? Do you find it a better option to live in a utopia where all your actions are dictated? I know I wouldn’t. With freewill we have the ability to choose to oppose evil with love. We have the ability to make the right choices. We also have the ability to choose to follow God.

In the days of King Solomon the temple of the Lord was completed. The Lord showed up to Solomon and said, “if my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Since then the temple was destroyed and, as Jesus promised, in 3 days was rebuilt through His sacrifice and resurrection. I believe that the same charge he made to Solomon and the people of Israel is true today for all of us. We all have choices in life and God is not some evil dictator that will control every single situation. The incidences of life are not some planned out lesson from God. And still God can intervene and have His hand on our lives, if His people pray. In humility, seeking His face, fleeing from our wickedness, I believe we can petition the Lord in prayer.

I believe it was the Lord that had prompted my heart to write this journal. Reudi Jr and Matthias have a window of 72 hours that are critical for their recovery. What I learned in my time at the hospital is that the longer a patient is in a coma the lower the chance of recovery. With all my heart I believe that if you all pray earnestly to the Lord these boys will walk out of that hospital. Till 430am PST Tuesday morning, I urge you to keep these boys in your thoughts and prayers and ask of the Lord a full recovery for Ruedi and Matthias. Just as one man made a choice to drive at high speeds that claimed his life and devastated the lives of others, we have a choice to call upon the name of the Lord in petition for the full recovery of these young men. And beyond this situation there are choices to be made. Joshua asserts, “Choose this day whom you will serve.” The ways of the Lord are love and peace, even though His followers (myself included) don’t always reflect that. There are choices to be made in life and you are the ambassador of those choices. Choose well. -jason

Fire With Fire, makes for bigger fires

2009-12-01T22:51:00.001-08:00

Fire with fire, makes for bigger fires

Injustice has always been something that has gotten me all worked up. There are things going on out there that just don’t make sense to me, they just don’t seem fair. I’ve wrestled with God over so many of these things and even teetered on my faith through certain issues. “Can a just God really exist with all of this injustice in the world?” Sadly I find myself often toiling over even the trivial things in life that are probably not worth a fight. I bite my tongue for a second, but then it just gives me more time to think about it and want to speak out even more. A recent example occurred over parking.

With a definite need to enforce the parking of non-visitors in visitor stalls, the school has established strict parking guidelines. Issuing tickets for anyone parked out of accordance to the parking policies. In my biased opinion there have been situations that were simply unnecessary, but, as my friend said, I guess they have to not do anything or just enforce it across the board. I’ll buy that. So when I see the schools meter maid parking in the visitor stalls that he tickets others for, driving a vehicle without a sticker that he demands of others and leaving his vehicle blocking the service lane for three hours, my mind begins to question. With teeth marks permanently embedded in my tongue I have to unclench and inquire within. So out goes my email.

According to the meter maid’s supervisor, certain privileges are allotted him because of his position. So he is above the law, basically. Day after day I sit at my desk and while I have the privilege of seeing the birds in the trees, the squirrels bouncing from branch to branch and even an occasional deer graze by. Still I am fixated on the meter maid’s vehicle parked in the service lane as he does his business in the office and adorns windshields with tickets from his book. My head shakes and I make a comment to my co-worker. The urge to question him personally wants to be awakened every time, till I read something one day.

Romans 12:17-21 “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. Never take your own revenge beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine I will repay,’ says the Lord. ‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him and if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

This is not to say that I am calling the meter maid evil, or even the parking policies. Instead I have come to learn that justice is from the Lord. If we are truly saying that we put our trust in God we are saying that we believe that he IS a just God. I look back on my life and imagine what it would be like if every wrong that I had done was done back to me. Oh, how grateful I am for grace, and yet when the tables are turned grace is no longer enough. This means that I don’t make the rules. It means that justice is no longer mine to define. If I am putting my trust in the Lord, I am saying, not my will, but yours Lord. By no means does this mean I will be silent to things that I find unjust, not at all. It just means that I need to seek answers in love and when I have done all I can, I have to let it go. People will park wherever they want to in life. Injustice, or so your perceive it, will happen. Choose your battles wisely. Calculate your efforts and your end goal. Measure your motives and see if you are making a bigger fire in your fight.

When God talks about His wrath I believe it boils down to eternal matters. Can you wrap you mind around the fact that He sent Jesus to wipe away the sins of all who will receive it, truly, in their heart. This means the grace of the Lord is available for, rapist, murders, thieves, hypocrites, meter maids with double standards and even me. That is a tough one to accept for many. That is why it was such a big sacrifice for Jesus to die on the cross. All the “justice” that the above mentioned deserve, was bore upon the shoulders of our Lord and Savior.

So can I let something like a silly parking issue go? I hope so. Do I turn a blind eye to the injustices of this world? I hope not, but instead of adding to the fire I hope I can learn to fight fire with love. -jason

Lead the Follower

2009-11-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

Lead the Follower

Slowly being eclipsed by more recent news, like the Fort Hood shooting, the Homecoming gang rape in Richmond, CA still shines bright in my mind. I’m haunted by the image of a helpless young woman being sexually violated by a group of men, uncertain if this will be the end of her life and possibly at times during the 120 minutes of brutal abuse, hoping it was. Besides the dozen or so men and boys that participated in this crime, I wonder what went through the minds of those that stood there and watched as a young woman was dehumanized and desecrated.

Baum reminded me the other day about a study that was developed to explore a similar situation in New York. In the early 60’s a woman was coming home from the late shift around 3am. It was too late that she noticed a man lurking in the shadows. As he plunged his knife into her body she screamed. Lights in the nearby apartments went on and a voice screamed out, “Leave that girl alone.” The attacker ran off only to look back to a quiet street. He went back and was once again scared off by a light in a nearby apartment. He went back a third time to finish her off. More than 40 people witnessed the murder of Kitty Genovese and did nothing about it till it was too late.

While the world was outraged at the witnesses of this crime, John Darley and Bibb Latane wanted to see what might have influenced the apparent apathy that Kitty’s neighbors exhibited. Darley and Latane uncovered a phenomenon in social psychology called the bystander effect. In their study they found that there are a couple things that happen in times of emergency. First they found that the more bystanders that are present the less likely anyone will intervene. It seems a sort of dilution of responsibility occurs and with the increase in bystanders comes the decrease in individual responsibility because everyone is thinking the other person is going to do something. Second, in certain emergency situations people are uncertain how to react and do not want to exhibit any emotion that will set the tone for the crowd so they look at each other to know how to react. If no one is willing to be the first to express an opinion to offer assistance the crowd remains unmoved.

Cleaning out my own closet I find a “demon” of haunting memory lurking in the shadows. I lay before you now the ignorance and shame of my youth. During a time in middle school I was hanging out at a friend’s house with two other guys. The four of us just goofed off and tried to find mischief when one member of the group decided he would create mischief. With vague recollection I recall one guy eventually ending up tied wrist and ankles behind his back. At first it seemed like boyish antics and I participated in the “fun”. As time progressed it was becoming obvious that the one that was tied up was in distress and the creator of this “game” took on a different demeanor. I could sense the look on my other friend’s face and began to feel awkward and yet still aided in what was going on. “Hold him up”, the ring leader commanded and I did just that. I want to say it was my efforts that got the boy untied, but I really can’t tell you how it finally came about. With spit in his face and rope burn on his ankles and wrists he walked home and my heart sunk at what had just happened. Why did I not speak up and defend my helpless, innocent peer? What lead me to take part in this shameful act?

All it takes is one. One leader. One person to step out and take action. So I urge you and implore myself, lead the followers. People beg for a leader. In the 1 book of Samuel chapter 8 the people of Israel beg for a king. “We need a leader.” God assures the dejected Samuel that he is not the one they are rejecting. The chosen people once again lose their trust in the Lord and beg for the leadership of men. When I lead my family, friends and those around me I hope my leadership comes from the following of Christ. Throughout the Bible we are reminded that God is love. The greatest commandment is this, love the Lord and love your neighbor. Through a genuine pursuit of God we can step up and lead the way, in love, or we can step aside and take the chance that the one who leads the group, will not lead you to the slaughter. -jason

Just Like Me

2009-09-08T19:01:00.001-07:00

There is a common belief out there that women marry men that are just like their fathers.

One day as I was engulfed in a task that allowed my aimless mind to wander, that thought crossed my mind. Thinking about many of the marriages I am familiar with I began to agree with that theory. While this is not an all encompassing truth, I can see similarities, even between my father-in-law

and me.

Wait a minute! That means...that means that my daughter will someday marry a man like me!?!?!?!? I'm screwed!

The silver lining to this is that I have hopefully grown as a respectable human being in the past few years and it's not as bad as it could have been. Still, there is work to be done on this flawed and broken life.

A look in the past reveals the place you came from to remind you which way is forward so you may celebrate the victories. A look ahead shows you where you can be and supplies motivation.

A step in either direction removes you from where you are now and outside of the present there is no productivity.

So for today, I am enough. Standing on the horizon of hope with the setting sun behind me and the promise of a new day.

-jason

Time Flies

2009-08-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Aubrey is almost 6 weeks old! That's not a lot of time but it already seems like she is growing up fast. I love the times that I get to spend with her. I love when I hold her and talk to her and she just stares into my eyes. I love it even more when she breaks the stare with a big smile. I love when I am feeding her and she reaches up and grabs a hold of my finger as she eats. I love when she falls asleep on my chest. Her curiosity drives her wandering gaze. When I look into her eyes I see the wonderful woman that birth her into this world. So if she wants to grow up so fast I decided I should let her learn how to hold her own bottle...

More Poop

2009-08-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I should change the name of my blog from "On My Mind" to "Out The Butt".

Aubrey has been having some intense pooping sessions. This morning she woke up about 1:45am grunting and groaning. I went in to get her and she didn't seem hungry. When I picked her up she was obviously straining. We went out into the living room and I laid her on the changing pad. With legs stretched out and arms reaching to the sides I knew she was taking care of business. Even after filing her nails down once she still scratches her face up. When she poops she grabs her face and her nails gouge into her face. As soon as she starts doing that I grab her hand to stop her from scratching herself. With her tiny little fingers wrapped around one of mine she squeezes are hard as she can. Face is red and strained as she works hard to make things happen. Legs are straight out in the air taut as a board. After a few moments of pushing and grunting it's all over.

An evaluation of feelings brought me two distinct emotions. First I felt sadness that she had to struggle so much to move her bowels. I rubbed her tummy with my other hand and tried as much as possible to soothe her tummy. Seeing my child in pain or suffering, even as little as a bowel movement, broke my heart. The other emotion I felt was warmth and intimacy when she wrapped her little hand around my finger. Instead of scratching her face she was able to squeeze my finger and find relief.

As a child of God I wonder how much of a parallel there is in our relationship to Him. We have challenges in life and we rely on ourselves to relieve it and we end up scratching ourselves all up. When God offers us His hand we are able to grab a hold and find comfort and relief. I imagine He has similar feelings of sadness when we have to go through hard times and at the same time He is warmed at the intimacy of our out reached hand that grabs on to His.

We crap all over the place and God loves us all the same.

Reach out to God. Accept His love and support. There will be hard times and God will always offer His hand to soothe, not to always take it away. We all have crap and God loves us all the same.

Looking for Signs

2009-08-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell me when a baby is done pooping? Is there some kind of sign? Hand gesture? Verbal cue?

I once did a 5 round diaper change with Aubrey and tonight was only a 2. Oh but it was a good one.

The midnight shift rolled around. I heard Aubrey fussing over the monitor. I jumped out of bed to try and get to her before she woke Emily up. Well Aubrey was not quite ready yet so I laid on the sofa till she was completely awake. At about 12:30 the fussing picked up and the grunting began. Here comes the poopy diaper. I stood over her crib and rubbed her tummy as she obviously was working to get it out. I held her for a bit and laid her on the changing table. A towel was placed there since she already got some poop on the cover. Aubrey, with her legs in full stretch, still had the look of exertion on her face. So i waited and rubbed her tummy again hoping to ride it out till it was over. It was now about 12:45am and she had a calmed look on her face and her body was relaxed. Seemed like a good time. So I opened up her diaper to unveil the "seedy" gift that I had expected. With both legs held high in my left hand I wiped all areas clean with my right. The new diaper was placed under her and I reached for another wipe for one last sweep of all the crevices. Before I could get the chance...SQUIRT! She got the side of the rocker, the empty Aero Bed bag, the towel she was laying on, an empty pillow case near by, the diaper box on the side of her changing table, and the carpet. Come to think about it, she may have even nailed the wall.

Still, I love my daughter with all my heart and I think she knows that. Why else would she leave me with such an early morning blessing?

A Story of Life

2009-07-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

The past couple of days seemed more like one really long day. I'm sure even more so for Emily who is my superwoman.

July 23rd 2009 at 445am I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Even in the dark I knew that I was alone in the bed. As I stubbled out the door I see a faint glow in the living room. Emily was watching some news broadcast, which I am sure she was not REALLY watching. After four hours of sleep the impending procedure of inducing labor opened the flood gates of restlessness. After a light breakfast for Em, and a double check of all our gear we were off to our 6am appointment.

At the desk of Labor and Delivery the nurse was already expecting us. The first room of three was where we were prepped and at 7am the Petosin drip began. Low at first ant slightly

increased as we got going. At around 9:15 Dr Wilner came in to see how things were going. With a device resembling a knitting needle Dr Wilner broke Emily's water. A flood that Noah could not have been ready for. 15 minutes later we entered into a new stage of the journey. Heavy labor, as I refer to it, was not a very interactive time. In our Birthing Class we watched a video and they give examples of supportive husbands rubbing backs, holding hands and offering their wives to lean on them. They never showed the guy that is standing there in a state of helplessness after his wife says, "Please don't touch me." At least she said it nicely.

After about four or five hours and seven centimeters dilation, Dr Wilner says it's going to be another 3 hours minimum. That's when we call in the anesthesiologist, and the next leg of our journey begins.

In a matter of minutes I had my wife back. She lost the feeling of her legs, but at least she could look me in the eye. It was as if she was just laying in bed hanging out. Her parents came in we were sitting around the bed chatting and she was happy as could be. A couple hours later Dr Wilner comes in for another check up. 10cm! The road takes another turn.

Pushing out a baby, AS SEEN ON TV, is nothing like it at all. At first there is no one in the room but Em, myself and one nurse. No team of doctor's standing by, no swarm of nurses ready to swoop down on your baby. Just the three of us, Em pushing and the nurse and I holding either of her immobile legs. Apparently the doctor comes in near the end when the baby is crowning. I guess the nurse rides domestique while the doctor rides lead, eh Steve-o? Pushing consists of

As Aubrey's head started to peak out an overwhelming sense of awe that took over my body. Then shock set in, I saw her face and thought, "She's Asian!" Oh yeah, I'm Asian. I guess I just forgot for a second. Once her head popped out it wasn't much for her shoulders and quickly they brought her up to Emily and gave her a quick cleaning.

At 632pm on July 23rd 2009 Aubrey Jean Aiko Makena Hew was born at 8lbs 10oz and 21inches. Aubrey cried for a few seconds and spent the rest of her moments wide eyed and alert checking out this new world she had become a part of. Even the poke of a needle did not get her riled up. The tears were being wiped from my eyes while going back and forth between my amazing wife and precious newborn daughter.

The next couple days in the hospital were drowned in a sea of faces as the shifts changed and a new nurse introduced themselves. A stream of different doctors came by to see how things were going. Specialists added to the multitude of varying opinions on things from breast feeding to sleep expectancy. While I had twice the amount of sleep as Emily, I was glad she did not have to endure the set of springs that I had to lay on, especially after all she had just gone through.

Friendly faces helped us through the next 48 hours till we were packing up and heading home.

Truly a princess.

Even now as we sit up in the early morning, ready to jump at her every need, I think about the team of people, doctors, nurses, specialist, family and friends. So many people there to attend to this little precious, helpless life. Anything that she needs, we will do it. The thing is, I will probably feel that way for the rest of her life.

-jason

The Placebo Effect

2009-07-10T15:32:00.001-07:00

Emily and I found a pediatrician that we both like. Dr Uta Kerl was recommended by Dr Wilner and we think she will be great. Before Dr Kerl we saw another doctor that we did not feel so great about. The only thing that she said that I really liked was her belief in the Placebo Effect. The placebo effect is when medication is replaced with a neutral substitute, like a sugar pill. Patients take the pill and they feel better because they think that they are getting medicated.

Psychology is such an integral part of everything from the medical field to religion. While many in the field of religion shy away from seeing the impact of psychology in religion I remain intrigued.

After revisiting the concept of the Placebo Effect I wonder how much this can be applied to religion. More and more people all over the world, live in such a tolerant ambiguity. "Whatever works for you." "That's great for you but not for me." Any religion that makes you feel better is good for you. Even if it is a sugar pill. Unfortunately there are a lot of sugar pills out there. Even in Christian churches. I see televangelist casting out illnesses and giving well articulated self-help sermons. Large numbers flock to them because it makes them feel better. "God will turn your life around." "God will give you blessings." "God will make your life great." God is given out as the sugar pill to solve all of life's problems. God is the placebo that is making the world feel better. Blame is to fall on me too as I have done that so many times. "Don't worry, God will take care of you." "God has a reason for 'this or that'." All of a sudden we become spiritual pharmacists medicating the world with God.

In my exploration of the Bible this is what I have come to believe, the world is sick. Yes, each and everyone of us. The illness is sin and the end result is death. Not a death of the life we are living, a death of the soul in the eternity to follow. The archery term of sin is always what I come back to. Missing the mark. There is that one perfect shot. Right smack dab in the center. Bulls eye. Imagine now a target that has a hole in the center for the bulls eye. The hole is just about the size of the arrowhead and if you don't hit it right on, you don't get through.

"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."

The other thing I have come to believe is that it was nothing that you or I did. Seems that the challenge for a lot of people have is when Christians get in their face and say, "YOU'RE A SINNER!" It comes across as a blame or accusation and YOU screwed up. Consider sin a genetic illness. At the beginning of the family tree there was the onset of heart disease and no matter what you will have it, your offspring will have it and so on. It doesn't skip a generation, there are no higher or lower risks of getting it, it will happen no matter what. This heart disease doesn't lead to heart attacks or stroke, this disease affects the figurative heart. The soul is what suffers.

I believe that we all experience the symptoms of sin. Depression, poor self-esteem, insatiable appetites, emptiness, anxiety, fear, anger, etc. All of these symptoms are often the target of treatment with the placebo of God. "Let God take away all of these things." As with physical ailments, treating the symptom is often just hiding the problem. One thing alone will remedy sin. Jesus Christ the son of God that was sent down to steer us through that bulls eye. Only through our proclamation of Jesus Christ the Living Son of God do we find our cure to sin. That has nothing to do with giving you more wealth, with taking away all your pain, giving you everything that your heart desires or any other self-seeking benefits we might have. He is not a treatment for your symptoms. Through the hope that we have in Jesus we might find the motivation to succeed in our careers. Through our life with Christ we may find the perspective to fight through pain. Through our faith in the Risen Savior we take each day with a smile knowing that while the diseases of this world might plague us, it can truly be well with my soul for we are healed by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who came in the flesh as God's own son and died on the cross to be resurrected in eternal glory for all who are plagued by the disease of sin.

*Side affects may include, persecution, heightened awareness of temptation, uncontrollable bouts of compassion, clarified vision, and spiritual alertness. If your election lasts for more than 24 hours, call a friend and let them know.

Five Finger Friends

2009-06-25T13:10:00.001-07:00

Teren came for a visit this past weekend and we discussed any future plans to relocate back to Hawaii. It made me think a lot about friendships and how things will be when/if we move home. It's been four years. Things change. People change. Will everything be the same with friendships?

Teren mentioned to me a while a go that his friend suggested the amount of TRUE friends you'll have in your lifetime you can count on one hand. While the word "true" may not have been the best choice, I think I kind of agree with that statement. How many friends do you have that, no matter what your interests, no matter how long you have not seen each other, no matter what you have done, regardless of your religious beliefs, regardless of your sexual orientations, regardless of your gender or race or social status, the friendship is always available?

When I did therapy in the schools I saw a lot of students that had issues with peers. I often used the analogy of friends being like the stock market. The investment of stocks are not the same for all. You need to be wise in deciding which stocks will be best for you and, while I hate to say it, offer the best returns.

Being in the seminary I have seen people get hurt because of the temporal nature of the residents. Some even have the reasoning to slowly separate themselves when their departure date draws near. To me that shows the level of investment they have had in that relationship. Then again, maybe they are doing it right. Maybe friendships ARE supposed to only be during the time that you are around the person. Maybe friendships should be dictated by physical proximity.

Thinking about the great friends I made I wonder if we will be friends for a lifetime. There are definitely a bunch of guys that I hope I will always be in touch with, and I'm not talking about virtually on facebook. Like a stock market, I guess I can never know. Stocks may crash tomorrow regardless of how much I invest. Or, stocks may shoot through the roof. I'll never know till I invest.

One night many moons ago, Mills and I sat outside of an old beach house. We drank our beers and indulged our karaoke crave with some songs by Kalapana. Some drunk guy that belonged to another party in the house came to the window and cussed at us. Mills, not a small guy, went up to the window and confronted this stranger. Words were exchanged and MIlls made his way to the side door. I went the opposite way and called the other guys we were with. When we got inside the guy ran off and nothing came about. Later Mills turned to me and asked, "Where did you go?" I explained that I went to call the others and he kind of laughed and told me I just disappeared and suggested I got scared. Quickly I denied that claim and stood by my statement. All the while, even to this day, I think about how scared I was. I did show up in the house and I did let everyone else know what was going down. I also did leave my friends side, and it was because I was afraid.

There has been numerous discussions with my friends back home, "Who would stand by your side in a time of need?" After that moment in time I vowed that I would not leave a friend if they were ever in need. Fortunately and unfortunately I was never placed in that specific situation again. My hope is that my vow will remain true. Sadly, there are times that I can see, not in a physical fight, but in other ways, I have left my friends in a time of need.

Perhaps I fail to be a true friend to anyone. Maybe a true friend is an impossible ideal. While I feel confident that there are people in my life that would lay down for me and I for them, what happens when the going gets tough? Will they stand by my side? Will I stand by theirs?

Again is the uncertainty of how your investments will pan out. Decide for yourselves whom you will invest in and how you will manage your investments. Will you pour everything into one "stock"? Will you spread it out evenly to a wide variety of "stocks"? Will you have a variation of large and small investments? Then what about for those that invest in you? The people that are close that put sizable investments into your "stock". Will you offer good returns?

jason

Letter to ABC

2009-06-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

Dear ABC,

You have provided some good programming for my entertainment. LOST is amazing. I enjoy my morning GMA fix. The NBA Finals are shown on your station. And we can't forget about Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune! Even some of the questionable stuff I have enjoyed from time to time. Grey's Anatomy, Dancing with the Stars, The Unusuals, I even like the Newlyweds show.

There is one show that I have to ask if you can pull from your stations and burn all known evidence of. The Bachelor/ Bachelorette. Last season was solid evidence that this show is destroying the thin strands of moral fiber that remain in our society. The thin strands that weave together the tapestry of life I was a part of and the same tapestry that my little Aubrey will be exposed to.

This season even my wife says she is not interested in it. Then when 8 o'clock rolls around she can't help but watch the polygamous display of affection and relations that are presented as normal. I try to keep myself occupied with other things and after about one hour or an hour and a half I end up getting sucked in and mostly ruining the experience for Emily with all my criticism.

Last night it came out that there might be a guy there that has a girlfriend back home. The Bachelorette got all upset. How could he? All the other guys were up in arms about it. She was on the verge of tears that someone would do that when she was here pouring her heart out.

WAIT A MINUTE! Don't you have 20 boyfriends standing in front of you right now?

Oh, but I'm sure it's different...somehow.

Please ABC, cancel this show. I'm tired of listening to this cliche guys tell this woman how much they are falling in love with them. I'm done with the cheesy drama that goes on. I'm saddened by the way this show turns men into junior high kids.

Since I don't have the disciple to avoid it and my wife likes to watch it, can you just cancel the show? PLEASE!

Sincerely,

Jason

Artificial Intelligence

2009-06-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

Last night the Cunningham's offered me dinner while my beautiful wife is out of town and I graciously accepted. Good food, good company and it is always a joy to see Carsyn.

It has been fun watching Carsyn grow up in the times that I spend with them. Last night she showed off two of her new "tricks". First she showed me her adorable wave. Then she stood unassisted.

Shannon held her hands out for support and Carsyn let go one hand at a time and stood there a few times on her own and one time she stood there for about 10 seconds!

When we see these little ones advance we marvel at how smart they are. "Smart", kind of a broad word. Kind of like the word "cool". "They hang out with the cool kids." Popular? "He's really cool." Nice? In my experience the popular kids were not always very nice.

We applaud the infants in their developmental achievements and measure how smart they are in the way they perform. I suppose it is equated to the advancement of their growth in comparison to the average child. Later in life we go through our academic career and we get over educated and acknowledge those that have a high capacity for information as smart. I am reminded of my favorite movie, Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon gets into a verbal spar with the "Michael Bolten clone" and calls him out on all of his borrowed thoughts. "Are you going to plagiarize the entire book for me, or do you have an original thought of your own?"

On the Websters Dictionary website "smart" really is a broad word and eventually I end up at intelligence. Here is the first definition:
1 a (1): the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations : reason ; also : the skilled use of reason (2): the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria .

I like the second part, "the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria."

Its the application that seems to miss the mark a lot of times. As the scene in the movie depicts, there are people that can retain and regurgitate information. People can be knowledgeable by the knowledge of others. Seems to me the real accomplishment is when you take the knowledge of others and uniquely apply it to your life and your situation.

As ignorant as it may sound, my level of appreciation for Carsyn's little wave far exceeds another person's ability to recite Shakespeare or Bible verses if they are unable to tell me what it means or how they have used it in their life.

-jason

Smell Ya Later

2009-05-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

Emily and I had the pleasure of looking after Lily Moon while J and Mel were out of town. We don't mind watching her at all because she is the sweetest dog and best of all, she's hypoallergenic!

Over the past few days I have walked her around their apartment, on Strawberry Spit and the park in front of Strawberry Shores. No matter where we are walking I noticed that she will stop and smell other dogs pee and poop. Then I recalled that dogs often like to smell peoples butt. This behavior was once explained to me as the dog's way to identify you.

The wheels start turning. What would life be like if we identified other people by their crap (metaphorical crap of course)?

I concluded that it can be good AND bad.

First, it could be a very pessimistic way of interaction. "Oh, that's Jason, he's not a very good student, drives like an idiot and has poor social skills." Hmmm...that wouldn't be too cool.

On the other hand, perhaps it would be a positive thing. "I smelled his crap, and I love him anyway." So then you know that if someone is your friend they are your friend regardless of what kind of poop you have in your life.

I don't know. Just a random thought. Conversations are sparse when you are walking a dog...

The Biggest Loser

2009-04-22T12:45:00.001-07:00

Emily and I have found most of our nights sitting in front of the television watching some of our favorite programs. Of course every night at 7 is Jeopardy followed by Wheel of Fortune at 730. Wednesdays are the most anticipated, when Lost comes on. Sundays we watch the Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice. Tuesday we flip between American Idol and the Biggest Loser.

When we watch the Biggest Loser we are always amazed at the transformation that people make. I am particularly interested in seeing what the person that got kicked off looks like now. Last night we saw the woman that got kicked off at a speaking engagement, in present day, sharing her story to a large audience. A woman in the crowd stood up to tell the speaker that she was an inspiration for her to lose weight. The woman from the Biggest Loser pleaded, "When I started the show I was 300 lbs. If I can do it anyone can."

As we went to get ready for bed Em inquired, "What do you think it is that cause people to become incredibly obese?" My initial reaction is always the psyche. I am a firm believer that the power of the mind is the strongest factor in the outcome of our lives. Illnesses, achievements, attitude, and so many other things are dictated by what our minds determine to be reality and what we allow for ourselves to be truth.

After the final beep of the Sonicare I rinsed and reminded Em what the woman said about herself. "When I got off the bus I was 300lbs and the crazy thing is, I would have told you I was totally healthy."

After hearing Tana Inskeep preach in chapel today I wonder about "spiritual obesity". How unhealthy we might become spiritually and tell ourselves, "I'm totally healthy!" Em does not care to watch the news because most of it is filled with murders, crime, and so many other depressing occurrences in our imperfect world. I always joke with Em about being a therapist, "We have job security."

In a world of fast food and additives we continue to feed our spiritual selves the kind of things that will make us very unhealthy. Our spirit and soul become "fat" with greed, malice, hate, gluttony, lust and so much more. Beyond any religious affiliations there are things in life that we know are not good. Deep down within us we see the destruction to our spiritual health. Still we carry on and tell the world, "I am totally healthy." Movies, media, TELEVISION, all become avenues to a progressive tolerance of something we know is not good deep in our spirits. Self-indulgence wins us over. Instant gratification becomes an expectation. Suddenly what feels good becomes what is right. So I partake of the treats that satisfy the inner cravings of my soul. Again, I tell the world, "I am perfectly healthy!"

The Question

2009-04-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

Undoubtedly you have all experienced one of those moments. "Oh what was the name of that song?" "Remember that guy in the Godfather...what was his name?" The inability to figure out the answer just nags at you and consumes more of your mind and you life than you imagine. Many times it passes and you don't really think of it any more. It is forgotten. Then you turn on the television and guess what is playing on AMC...The Godfather. "Oh yeah! Marlon Brando!" Then you drive to work and a song comes on the radio. You call your friend, "ROCKET MAN!" Although it was long forgotten, hearing the song reminds you, brings up that memory, some feelings and the unaddressed subconscious is put to rest and the case is closed.

Beyond the names of songs and actors we face questions in our lives that often are not addressed. "Why did my parent take their anger out on me?" "Was it my fault that my parents divorced?" "What made a friend betray me?" There are so many Questions that go unanswered. Life goes on. We are hurt and yet we move on. Without realizing it the unanswered questions lay in your subconscious like a sleeping giant only to wait for something to disturb it. Perhaps it begins to manifest itself in other ways and affect your relationship with others. It might disguise itself in behaviors totally unrelated. In an ideal situation the questsion is awaken by the answer that will serve as the remedy for the void that The Question has left. In other situations it remains and is awaken by life's occurances and The Question lashes out in anger, resentment and other negative forms.

This Sunday in church Bryce spoke about the "stains" that exist on our lives. He menitoned forgiveness as the key to removing these stains. Such a common word that Emily and I have decided consists of a level of ambiguity. Forgiveness is necessary. Sadly in some situations The Question will never be answered. So then we must forgive and receive forgiveness. For Emily and I, as therapists, it is an unfortunate job security. The reality of life is existing with unanswered questions.

Looking for answers? What is "The Question" in your life? -jason

Quick Decision

2009-04-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

It's 9:25a and I am throwing some last minute things in my travel bags. Emily as purse in hand shoes on and we are ready to head to the Oakland Airport.

Over the weekend Emily had some heart palpitations and some pain. Emily often has similar symptoms so I asked her how bad it was and if she needed to go to the hospital. With a cringe and some hesitation she said, "No I'll just call the doctors on Monday."

Monday proved to be much too busy and the call was never made. That night I asked if she called the doctor and she said she would call the next day.

Now we are en route to OAK and Emily remembers to call the doctors office. While listening to only one side of the conversation I am uncertain what is going on. "No he's not my doctor anymore. So you want me to go to the Emergency Room?" WHAT IS GOING ON?

Emily hangs up and casually says, "They want me to go to the Emergency Room now." Listening to her symptoms the nurse felt that it was not something you want to take your time on. Later when we get to the ER the nurse says, "So you really should have come in on Saturday." It is so hard to tell with Emily having similar symptoms as a result of preexisting medical issues. Really, we can't go the hospital for every pain, can we?

"What did she say?" "Is it serious?" "How do you feel?" "Do you feel like its serious?" "Do you want me to stay?" 10 minutes from OAK and I am in task mode. What to do? I feel 99% sure that it is nothing serious. So what do I do about the 1%? This really should be a no-brainer. In the midst of my insensitivity and brash tone I upset, well, probably more scared Emily and she began to cry. At this point we had reached the airport cut off and I immediately swung around and back on the freeway in the opposite direction. With my travel folder in my lap I began making calls to the airlines, the car rental company, all the hotels and the schools I had planned to visit. With gracious consideration and outstanding customer service I was not charged any fees for cancellation. On to the hospital.

Apparently there is different protocol for pregnant women so they told us we needed to go to Labor and Delivery to get clearance before coming down to the ER. Up on the fourth floor the Labor and Delivery staff asked us if we checked in at the ER. Confusion set in when we told them that they sent us up there. One nurse looked as if she was just about to have us turn around and head back downstairs. Forget the fact that my wife is complaining about chest pains, let's make sure we get your paperwork done. The charge nurse came over and ignored the smug inquisition coming from Nurse "I SHOULD BE WORKING AT THE DMV".

With that one exception the rest of the medical staff proved friendly and helpful. After EKG, blood tests, chest x-rays and a barrage of questions the doctor concluded that it is probably a chest strain. With Emily's body changing from the pregnancy the chance of a pulled or torn muscle becomes greater. He offered information on the low chance of a blood clot and the option to find conclusive evidence for or against that probability by means of a CT scan. Knowing that the CT scan could negatively affect our baby it was not even an option.

So we were sent home. Instructed to follow up with the OB in a couple days. Asked to be on the look out for any increase or worsening of the symptoms. With relief that it was not a heart issue we are grateful. Still we pray everyday for good health and safety in Emily and Aubrey. Your prayers are welcomed as well.

As easy a decision it should have been to turn the car around and head to the hospital, I wrestled with it. Maybe it's a good time to reconsider my priorities. -jason

Reaching Out

2009-03-25T18:10:00.001-07:00

Reaching Out

This past Friday we celebrated Drew’s birthday camping out in Santa Cruz and surfing the next day. Since I had work on Friday we got down to Santa Cruz just as the sky lit up with brilliant streaks of orange, red and purple and the sun prepared to tuck behind the horizon. With the loss of light coming upon us we unpacked the cars and began to light the campfire. Pieces of wood from a recently cut tree proved to still hold some moisture and gave us a bit of a challenge to light. Burning through pieces of paper that we found in our cars we were running out of options. Drew suggested, “You think we should see if someone around here has lighter fluid?” Immediately my memory flashed to the weekly BBQ’s at Teren’s house and how he would laugh at me for getting on all fours and blowing the embers to get the fire going unassisted by lighter fluid. I leaned into the fire pit and began to push out a strong and steady breath to the glowing embers. With smoke filled lungs and consciousness slipping away a flame burst out from under the kindling Drew had gathered. We had fire!
Stubborn? Some would say…actually most would say. It’s hard to fight the words of Bill Hew, “Boy, don’t depend on anyone, make sure you can take care of yourself.” And so that is how I have structured my life. So many have supported me in so many ways and for this I am grateful, better yet, for this I am alive. Asking for help, that is a different story. So I am in the process of learning this benefit of dependency on one another. Flash forward to the final years of my life and if I don’t learn how to ask for help now the potential to sink into a deep depression rears its ugly head when my life will require it.
Then there are situations that come up in the news with our economy, with the instability of financial institutions and the corruption of high powered executives and sadly, our own government. There are stories of police shooting innocent people and ruthless people shooting police that are just trying to do their jobs. Medical insurance is an outrage on a personal level. We pay high premiums to insurance companies because of preexisting conditions and still pay absorbent prices to medical personnel so they may maintain their lifestyles. People and businesses that do reach out to the community end up having to close their doors. So it saddens me to hear that Niketown will be closing down in Hawaii and wonder how that will impact the state both socially and economically. Sadly, within the church body, the place where people should feel safe, scandals and conflicts arise and people walk away wounded. Who can we rely on these days? Who in the world am I supposed to trust? I dream of a utopia that exists within invisible walls of isolation from the outside world and is occupied by only the people that are close to me. We live and barter within our community and rely on each other’s trade to survive. Well…I guess I am not ready for the Amish life just yet…or to start my cult.
When I am snapped back to reality corruption and deceit surround me and perhaps even permeate out of my own heart. Still there exists the need to rely on each other. When good friends are in need because of financial struggles, big life transitions, tragedy in the family, loss of employment and anything else life throw’s our way, my desire is to help. With recent occurrences of these situations I am so blessed by the opportunity to help. When our financial burdens are lifted by family members I see the joy that they receive from helping us out, the blessing to know that they can.
In the 3rd Proverb Solomon tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Some may interpret that as, “don’t trust anyone.” Perhaps trusting in the Lord is being able to depend on others that He may have put in your life. Since Bill Hew lives strong in my spirit you will probably still see me on all fours blowing on dwindling embers and if you do, feel free to jump in and help, my pride needs to be challenged. In this time of hardship and trials we are prompted to look to our friends and neighbors and seek a helping hand. May the Lord give you peace, strength and hope in the midst of storms. Remember to call on me if you need a hand. -jason

SEEXY Party

2009-03-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

SEEXY Party

With two weeks of eager anticipation the day had arrived to unveil the sex of our expected child. Borrowing an idea that we had seen from a girl that Emily had gone to school with, we prepared for a simple dinner and made arrangements for an order of special cupcakes. We called it the SEEXY Party, a gathering of family and friends to SEE if X or Y would determine the sex of our baby.
Two weeks earlier at our ultrasound the technician kindly suggested we look away at certain times in the scan if we did not want to know the sex of Baby Hew. When we were able to peek we saw the three dimensional images of our little child. A rapid WHOOSHING told us that a heartbeat was present and healthy. Like happy parents we interpreted an arm movement as a wave at Mom and Dad. After the ultrasound was done and they took all the measurements they needed the technician wrote the sex of our baby on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope. This envelope was immediately transported back to work and quickly handed over to Karen, our friend who willingly bore the responsibility of maintaining the secret of the baby’s sex and strategically piping color coded frosting into some of the most delicious cupcakes I have ever eaten.
Fast-forward again to Friday night as Emily and I prepared for our guests. Two Crockpot’s contained pulled pork and chicken that we had started preparing the night before. In a third Crockpot were the refried beans that we had made out of the huge bag of pinto beans from Emily’s mom and next to that, a dish of baby carrots and celery sticks. On one end of the table we put out the buns for the pulled pork sandwiches and the pink and blue plates, forks and napkins. On a table near the front of the door we placed two piles of plastic leis. If you thought Baby Hew was a boy you wore a blue lei, and if you thought Baby Hew was a girl you wore a pink lei. On the tables we scattered pink and blue wrapped butter mints. When the Cunningham’s arrived they added a wonderful salad and delicious brownies to the menu. While Shannon tested out the lighting for some fantastic shots, Drew helped us blow up pink and blue balloons to compliment the streamers that lined the room.
As people slowly trickled in we got even more contributions for dinner. The Stroud’s graciously contributed two jugs of tea, Natalie brought in some decaf coffee and the Robinson’s not only provided the magical cupcakes, they also brought Dave’s deviled eggs and additional coffee. Excitement began to grow as the room began to fill with friendly faces. Gathering the attention of our friends I welcomed everyone and directed their attention to two things. A paper was available for people to write any name suggestions they might have for us, humorous or otherwise, (e.g. my brother wanted to name his son “Tank”). Next to the paper was a canvas that we asked people to write any words of wisdom that they might have for Baby Hew as he/she begins life. Then I prompted Steve to ask a blessing on our night.
As plates cleared people looked a little restless and the noise level rose with increased conversation. This seemed the best time to turn our attention to the cupcakes. With Baum and Matt manning the video cameras and Shannon elevated to snap some action shots we gathered everyone around. The cupcakes were passed out and kept in hand then all eyes were turned to the one cupcake that Emily and I would tear open.
The entire night was filled with good company. Everyone brought genuine friendship with them and that is what made this event special. We acknowledged the shadow of regret developed by the absence of everyone we could not have there and embraced the significance of the people who were there to offer their love and support. In his poem Each And All, Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Nor knowest thou what argument thy life to thy neighbor's creed has lent. All are needed by each one; nothing is fair or good alone…Beauty through my senses stole; I yielded myself to the perfect whole.” Even with community being the most significant part of the night for me I know we all were gathered there for one reason. And so the countdown began with Emily’s hand on one side of the cupcake and my hand on the other. ..”1, 2, 3… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VJsDAQq1ug -jason

Living an *free Life

2009-02-18T16:17:00.000-08:00

Living an *free Life

Last night Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees gave his public statement and apologies for using banned substances. A-ROD went to the Major League straight out of high school and excelled to be one of the top players in the league, also the highest paid. Now with his confessions of using performance enhancement drugs there will be a big fat asterisks next to anything he does. We saw the same with the Barry Bonds who soon might be playing on the San Quentin softball team, look out Golden Gate softball team!
Earlier this year there was a big mixed martial arts fight between Welterweight champ Georges St Pierre and Lightweight champ, BJ Penn. Since the live event was a bit too pricey for me, the fight could not be viewed till recently. During the four rounds of viewing I saw a bigger, stronger fighter using his advantages to control the fight. Then it comes out that GSP was accused of being “greased”. Videos show his trainer rubbing Vaseline around his eyes (legal) then rubbing his hands on his chest, shoulders and back (illegal).
All this brings up the memories of epic season by the New England Patriots. Amazing talent and coaching drove this team down a road of flawless victories. Then bursting out into the media is the accusation of videotaping and spying on other teams’ play calling. “Spygate” brought about questions regarding their road to success. In the end the Super Bowl crushed the dream of a perfect season. Even with the disappointment of the big game, the Patriots had an amazing season and that is followed by a big fat asterisk.
All of these examples of profound accomplishments have been tainted by the discovery of something that lacks integrity. Another thing that these examples all have is the potential to excel without the assistance of restricted activity. The Patriots had all the talent and all the skill to be a great team and whether or not the videos had any impact on their success is uncertain and will forever taint their victorious run to the Super Bowl. Barry Bonds will most likely be in the Hall of Fame and it seems A-Rod is paving that road. They are great players that could have accomplished all that they have without performance enhancing drugs. We will never know for sure. GSP is a great fighter and is naturally bigger and stronger than BJ Penn. Although I wanted BJ to come out victorious the reality is that he got worked over. Did the greasing play a role in this victory? Highly doubtful and still it is something that invades the purity of the accomplishment.
There needs to be an ongoing inventory taken on my life as I strive to maintain the integrity of everything I represent. As a husband I would like to see that my actions remain pure and respectful of my wife. So many extramarital affairs leave people with a big fat asterisk next to their title as husband. As a minister of Gospel of Jesus Christ I would like to see that I walk upright and confident in truth and love. Too many times we see the news exploiting ministers that have done some corrupt thing and their entire life of ministry is followed by that compromising *.
While I probably have an asterisk next to my name in so many acts of hypocrisy and ulterior motives, I wish to live life differently every day forward. I will trust in the Lord for my strength and push through as my actions and decision are continuously evaluated for integrity and faithfulness to what I believe and who I am. Seek integrity. Stand upright in truth. I wish you all an asterisk free life. -jason

What's In It For Me?

2009-01-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

What’s In It For Me?

Church affiliation of any sort exposes many to the opportunity to revisit the summer camp experience regardless of age. My involvement with church activities included many retreats and camps that forced me to share lodging with others. Whenever possible alternate sleeping arrangements were sought, even if it meant curling up in my car, sleeping on a sofa and under favorable circumstances the soothing roll of the ocean rocked me to sleep as my head lay on a malleable cushion of sand.
When other options were not available or appropriate then tiresome apologies flooded out of my mouth and anxious thoughts developed around the consciousness of sleep habits that become uncontrollably obvious to those sleeping or trying to sleep around me. As it has been made known the diagnoses of moderate to severe sleep apnea is indicated in my medical records. Attention has been brought to the severity of such a condition that excels to the ultimate consequence, death. With the installation a permanent roommate to be mindful of and the generous insurance coverage from my employer, the decision was made to pursue treatment.
Last week, in the company of three others that suffered from this apnea condition, an Apria Healthcare respiratory therapist gave us education and instruction on our new CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machines. This device is supposedly the leading treatment for apnea sufferers and it works by forcing air past an area of loose skin that obstructs the airway during sleep. Of three mask options the smallest one seemed the easy choice. In great excitement I took this machine home holding high expectations of a rejuvenated life and deeper well of energy.

After a week of this machine thrusting air into my nostrils very little, if any, change is noted in my daily functioning. I appear to have the same amount of energy and if anything, maybe even less on some days. Despite the lack of recognized personal value in the CPAP machine, the process will be continued. Yesterday an exchange took place where a memory card will be turned over to the Kaiser Sleep Clinic and a preset machine will be sent to me with the fixed amount of pressure needed to sleep well. While the effects are not obvious to me, they are to Emily. Apparently when the machine is used the snoring stops and even the Bruxism has been minimized. Now Emily does not have to wear ear plugs unless the mask is unconsciously ripped from my face, then I start the snoring again. So this mask is donned every night and comes with minimal discomfort. Whether the mask is worn or not my day appears the same. When it is not worn snoring occurs, Emily has to wear ear plugs, she has a hard time falling asleep and my health is adversely affected. When it is worn Emily is not bothered and hopefully life is lengthened so I can be around for a long time for my wife and Baby Hew.
Doesn’t it seem that way with so many things in life? Eating healthy, quitting smoking, [insert your bad habit here]. “The results are not obvious to me, what’s the point?” So many conversations that have occurred over the years about religion have taken on this tone. There appears no real “benefit” to the one believing and following after Jesus (unless you are in it for your ticket to heaven). What’s the point? While we often do feel the embrace of a loving God and continue to receive so many undeserved blessings, I don’t think that is the point. To live a life for Christ is something that is not done to reap benefits for ourselves. The results of a sacrificed life are all for the one who Created us.

You mean I am supposed to do work, to give of myself and expected nothing in return?

You’re right Carsyn, it’s shocking.

-jason

Resolution Solution

2009-01-12T16:32:00.000-08:00

Resolution Solution

In the past I have been laden with guilt by things that I have done with poor judgment that have affected others. I felt that in order to seek resolution, to resolve the wrong I have done, I needed to seek forgiveness from the person that I have wronged and mend the bridges that I have burned. Through my experiences I have seen that sometimes more damage comes from those efforts and the burden of guilt is perhaps the liability that comes with actions unbecoming. There comes a point when the effort to resolve is purely selfish.
In reflection I extend further thought to the resolutions that I am going to make for myself in this progressing New Year. Melded with these are the thoughts of the child that grows in the protection of my wife. Concern thoughts arise that my child might someday face the same questions, regrets, and ponderings that I have now. Perhaps this is the selfless way to resolve through my resolutions. The foolishness of my past can produce value in the next generation ahead. The past has written itself into the pages of history and to tear it out or attempt a rewrite creates discrepancy and deficiency to the current story of my life. As for the pages ahead, the ones that await the story of a life which has yet to see its first day, those words on the page are penned with the influence of my own hands.
So it is now that I must resolve to strive for personal growth. Allowing the specifics to find themselves as the days roll by, I will make a resolution to evaluate three general areas of my life; mind, body and spirit. I believe that each day will show me what step of growth I might need to take to become the inspiring co-author to the story of Baby Hew (Who is 13 weeks developed!).
*This is what Baby Hew looks like now!
Mind – I will strive to read more, to study more and challenge my brain. In the few months between graduation and now I feel slow and cloudy. Jeopardy is just not the same. I think it is a good challenge to keep my mind sharp and keep my curiosity peaked. When Baby Hew arrives they will most likely look at the behaviors of his parents and I hope to model someone that has a desire and motivation to learn and be informed. With all of the excitement of this past election I walked away wishing I was better informed. I hope my child can grow up striving for increased awareness and intellectual growth.
Body – Sleep apnea test results are in and “Jason, you have moderate to severe sleep apnea.” While 32 is not very old I want to start looking into ways to stick around with my family. I want to examine my dietary habits, my physical fitness and develop a healthy life style that I will be comfortable modeling for my child. This includes being cautious of the types of beverages I consume, the food I eat, the habits I perpetuate and the sedimentary lifestyle that I continue to welcome.
Spirit – How terribly unfortunate that this aspect of life is so easily disregarded. I suppose it is due to the intangibility of its nature. Spirituality seems to be the area that we most often leave for open-mindedness and little concern. People often identify that church is for the desperate. Sadly there are a lot of desperate people at church due to the fact that mind and body are no long very reliable and what is left, spirit. With intelligence and physical well-being we can manage our way through life. We can find a job that supports us, develop friendships and enjoy life. When those things are stripped away we see that we have been missing the third foundation to our lives. As a chaplain I have seen people in their death bed seek out spirituality that they have long disregarded all of their lives. In moments of desperation people turn to prayer and a “divine intervention”, while life goes on otherwise. As much as it takes time and energy to develop a strong mind and a strong body, I hope that I may be able to put worthy investment into my spiritual life. I hope my child may have a spirit that is strong and exercised.

Altogether I hope to give strength to the three corners of life that hold up the character of any human being. I wish to see in this New Year a refocused examination on the foundational principles of my life so that my child might be able to successfully establish a balance that will carry them to a wholesome existence.
Mind, body and spirit, three pillars that support the stability of every existence. I pray that yours are built amongst a solid foundation. May your house, in 2009, stand firm. -jason

Edited

2009-01-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

Edited

This past October Emily bought me a digital SLR camera, something that I had wanted for a long time. I have been enjoying taking pictures randomly with no real idea of what I am doing. There is a book that was recommended that I need to get a hold of that hopefully will help me gain some perspective on this world of photography.
One aspect of the craft is the photo editing, or at least that’s what I am told. My bank account and I had a conference and decided to go with the free GIMP editing program from the web. I cannot imagine a full professional program as I am overwhelmed with this free program. There are so many functions and adjustments I have been just messing around with them all.

Within my computer ($50 Pentium 4 bought off craigslist) lies a bunch of pictures that I intended to give to people after I edited it. It never happened. I have Jude Cook, Carsyn’s dedication, Sadie Summers, Benjamin Bruce McAbee and more. Admittedly part of the problem is not taking time to sit down and work on them while the other half of the problem is that I just don’t know how this editing program works. On some of the photos they became worse as I edited them. It seemed like a good idea to sharpen some pictures then when I looked at a larger image I realized it made them really grainy. Adjusting the color made things very interesting. Even when I tried to do a simple black and white the picture seemed to lose something. There are pictures that I made changes to and thought that I had made some fantastic changes. When I compared it to the original, they looked exactly the same. On the other hand, if you know what you are doing I hear you can do some amazing things. Rachel filled me in on a couple of her techniques and I was amazed.
As we enter 2009 Dan inquires about my resolutions for the New Year. I honestly have not thought too much about it. Isn’t it all too common that people make resolutions that just never pan out? I figure it is a lot like photo editing. You want to make some changes and you are just not sure how, so you give up. Let’s take a common one, weight loss. I have come to understand that diets don’t work. People will lose a lot of weight and then they stop the diet because, mission accomplished, and the weight comes back. The way to do it is a lifestyle change. There are also those diets that leave people ill because they are unhealthy or the user is not doing it correctly. Then there are those that make adequate lifestyle changes and they are able to lose weight in a healthy way and keep it off.
So what are your resolutions? What editing are you making to your life this year? Maybe sometimes the original needs to be left untouched. If you do some editing to your life take time to understand your “program”.
Here are a couple pictures that I have attempted since I got the camera. Enjoy the pictures and have an amazing 2009. May you find the calm of peace, celebrations of joy and an abundance of love.

-jason