Courageous

Courageous

                Last week I was invited to a prescreening of the movie “Courageous”.  It was made by the same people who made Fireproof.  In short, I would recommend it.  Don’t expect a blockbuster and don’t expect Oscar winning acting (although I think it was a step up from Fireproof, sorry Kirk).  What this movie delivers is a great message that I think all of society needs to hear and with less of the “cheesiness” that their previous movies contained. 

                Over the past month the theme of being a man has resurfaced over and over again.  In my last post I raised my concern for some of the overcompensated efforts to build up strong men in our society.  In this movie five men are on a journey that explores their role as parents, as fathers and specifically as God-fearing fathers.  While sitting around the table during a weekend barbecue, one of the main characters turns to his friends and asks for accountability in his parenting.  When playfully ridiculed he asks one of the men, “When did you know you were a man?”  One man replied, “I guess when I moved out of the house.”  Another said, “I suppose when I got my driver’s license.”  Then a third man with a smirk on his face said, “When my father told me I was.”  After a short story of that moment, the first guy launched into his concern that we are not raising our boys to be men. 

                When did you know you were a man?  Sadly, I still wrestle with that question.  Many times I feel like I am still just a boy, waiting to grow up, waiting to be told, “Jason, you’re a man now.”  In a conversation at church we looked at how our changed society has taken away some of the non-verbal cues, the rites of passage that told you, “You are a man now.”  A friend shared about growing up on a farm and when his older brother left he was given certain responsibilities that said, “Now you are a man.”  He also spoke about how in his time when you graduated high school you either went to college or you went into the military.  High school graduation is a watered down rite of passage because so many young people remain home once they graduate or are living in an extension of home in college dorms that are funded by mom and dad.  Manhood is delayed and occasionally even suppressed.

                Then later in the movie one character in the movie takes his daughter out to dinner.  He talks to her about dating and how he wants to meet the guys she dates and it’s because he and his wife want the best for her.  He says, “I know young men, they all want is to win your heart, but they don’t know how to treasure it.”  BANG!  Hit by a ton of bricks.  Even without ill intention I think that is an issue with so many men, including a flashback to my life.  I never had intention to hurt any girl I had dated, but through my ignorance I never knew what it meant to treasure a woman’s heart.  I think about the media and mainstream movies, the expanse of most movies cover “the chase”, getting the girl.  Not many show what you are supposed to do after that, how to live life treasuring a woman’s heart.  Thankfully I found a wonderful woman that is patient with me and willing to walk with me as I learn to treasure her heart.  Having two little girls is a crash course in this topic. 

                There are young men and women out there that need strong parents to step up and abandon passivity.  Parents need to get involved, strive for better, and invest themselves in their children’s lives.  Like the saying goes, “Any fool can have a baby…” I finish that statement with, “but it takes Courage to be a parent!”  Be courageous in your parenting and raise for our world strong and responsible adults.

-jason